


Of the Earth

by angelichl



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Camping, Dogs, Falling In Love, Hiking, Injured Louis, Introspection, M/M, Minor Injuries, Nature, Pining, Sad Harry, Sharing a Bed, Skinny Dipping, Stargazing, Strangers to Lovers, except it's a sleeping bag, sprained ankle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 16:10:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17186183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelichl/pseuds/angelichl
Summary: Harry embarks on a backpacking trip in West Virginia to figure his life out after breaking up with his boyfriend. He meets Louis along the way.





	Of the Earth

**Author's Note:**

> (brief mentions of harry's ex-boyfriend cheating on him. if you have any questions feel free to ask!)

 

 

"I am so afraid of being troubled and alone at this end of the world."

_Leah Umansky, from “Edge of the Wild,” published in Guernica_

 

 

On the seven-day anniversary of running away from his problems, Harry celebrated by taking a swim in the river.

His clothes were sweat-drenched from the hike but he didn’t remove them until after he pitched the tent and roped the bear bag to a high tree branch. Dipping his feet into the cool river water felt like the biggest relief after an arduous day of backpacking. With another twelve miles under his belt, he yanked his damp t-shirt over his head and removed his shorts as well.

To Harry, it felt completely natural to be bare-naked in the wilderness, but that didn’t mean he was completely alone out there. If someone stumbled upon him bathing in the river tonight, it wouldn’t be the first time.

He decided to take his chances. The water was too refreshing to resist. He left his clothes and shoes on the river bank and stepped calculatedly onto a few rocks, using them as a path to the deeper parts of the Red Creek. He waded in, letting the current lap at his knees, then his hips, up to his navel. It hadn’t rained in a few days, luckily, so the water didn’t get much deeper than that, and the current wasn’t too strong.

He felt safe, not likely to be pulled away. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t careful, especially as he dunked his head underwater and began washing the sweat and mud off his body.

The mucky sand and pebbles beneath his feet felt like an organic massage—one of the many hidden gifts of the earth. He dragged his feet through the sand to release the tension in his lower body, letting the cold water relax and refresh him. Meanwhile, the unrefined beauty of the river and the forest and the mountains on either side took his breath away.

Seven days was the longest he’s gone without social contact in his entire life. The only human-to-human interaction he had in the past week happened when he crossed paths with other backpackers on trail, though usually it was just a cheerful “Hello!” or “Beautiful day!” said in passing, never a real conversation.

He would be lying if he said he didn’t feel at least a hint of loneliness. Yet, the solitude was good. Refreshing. It gave him the necessary time and space to clear his mind and finally think lucidly for the first time in ages.

Besides, there were ways to combat the minor isolation he felt. Singing was one of them. Over the course of the week he discovered a desire to sing quiet songs to himself as he completed mindless tasks. Right there in the river wasn’t any different. He felt a bit like a mermaid as he sang to himself while washing his body in the water.

It would’ve been nice to have soap, to actually feel clean and smell nice afterwards, but soap contaminated the water and ruined the ecosystem. Harry didn’t exactly value personal hygiene over the ecological health of the natural world around him. The water did enough on its own, washing away his sweat and the build-up of dirt on his skin from hiking for hours.

It was around seven o’clock now and the sun won’t set for another hour or so, but it had fallen behind the horizon of the mountains, and the world was blanketed by a calming shadow that brought with it reprieve from the sun that had been beating down on the earth all day. Harry was lucky to have been mostly in the forest that day, seeing as he was really trying to avoid a sunburn.

It was July, and he spent the past month enjoying the summer weather, so his skin was pleasantly tan. He had the tendency to turn porcelain pale in the winter, and his mother always said sunkissed skin made him look healthier.

Harry swam around a little bit and then floated on his back to gaze up at the sky, the usual blue turning lighter and tinged with violet as the sun began to set. He stood up again but dipped his head underwater, running his fingers through the strands to untangle the knots. When he resurfaced he ran his hands over his skin again, from his toes all the way up to his face, to check if he forget any dirt or debris that might have stuck to him even through his swim.

Not wanting to cook dinner in the dark, he reluctantly waded out of the river and pulled himself onto a rock to dry off, lying down and letting the little droplets on his skin evaporate into the air.

In a little bit, he’d return to his campsite to start the burner and cook himself a burrito bowl of rice, peppers, and meat substitute made of soy. He’d stow all the leftover food away in the bear bag, reorganize his pack, wander through the woods to do his business, and slip into his tent just at the beginning of nightfall, falling asleep to the symphony of the rushing river and the sounds of the Allegheny mountain creatures at night.

For now, he relaxed back onto the rock and felt his body sink into its sturdiness, the feeling of the world swaying around him. Never in his life had he felt more grounded than he felt since coming to Dolly Sods.

His friends and family all warned against him completing a solo backpacking trip, listing off facts to prove its danger and scare Harry from following one of his more recent dreams. After spending a week entirely alone in the West Virginia wilderness, he was glad he hadn’t listened to them.

They could be wrong about things, sometimes. They could be wrong about a lot of things.

Harry opened his eyes at the sound of a barred owl cooing in the distance, the gentle call that sounded like he or she was singing _Who cooks for youu? Who cooks for youu-all?_

A while later he sat up and retreated to his campsite, a warm bowl of food calling his name.

 

^^^

 

Morning brought with it his usual routine of waking up, clambering out of the tent, finding a rock to pee on, and then setting up the burner for breakfast.

Rocks were not personally his ideal place to piss, but the principles of Leave No Trace said it was best. Apparently white-tailed deer, among other animals, loved to lick salty surfaces. Urine had a lot of salt. Pissing on a tree wasn’t ideal because deer would lick the tree and strip its bark. Rocks, resultantly, were a safer place to pee. Much more eco-friendly.

Breakfast consisted of two packets of instant oatmeal, hot water ladled directly inside each packet. He had a bowl in his pack, of course, but it was a bitch to clean without soap, and usually he only used it for dinner.

The route of the day included crossing the Red Creek and then hiking a positive elevation of 1,500 feet, more or less, for a total just shy of ten miles of trail. It would be challenging but not impossible, Harry decided.

In the mood to get started early, he enjoyed his breakfast and downed half a Nalgene of water. He packed up his belongings, deconstructing the tent and taking down the bear bag as he waited for the boiling water from breakfast to cool enough to refill his water bottles. Only two bottles were empty, and the other two were perfectly full, but he didn’t want to be in a situation where he ran out of purified water to drink.

The last chores before putting his pack on included strapping on his Tevas, the hiking sandals he wore while crossing rivers, and tying his hair back with a red bandana. With that, he heaved his heavy pack on his back and headed towards the river, scoping out the best path to cross.

For someone as clumsy as Harry, he surprised himself by not falling into the Red Creek river as he crossed it, for once successfully. Balancing on small, slippery rocks was hard enough, but adding a heavy pack on top of it all really made it difficult to stay upright. He felt proud of himself as he sat on a rock on the other riverbank, waiting for his feet to dry before putting on a pair of thick hiking socks and lacing up his boots.

The morning was beautiful, the summer-blue sky strewn with cotton-ball clouds. According to the ten-day forecast, it was supposed to rain later in the day, so it was for the best that he was leaving early.

Harry fell into a comfortable rhythm as he hiked up the side of the mountain, keeping his gaze on the footfalls ahead of him so he wouldn’t trip on a stone or root.

The athletic rigor of this hike simplified his mind in a way he couldn’t replicate through any other tactic. For once he wasn’t worrying by all of the anxious thoughts in his mind. For once he was listening to his labored breathing and the step of his boots against the soft, stable mud of the trail, not thinking of anything else.

This part of Dolly Sods Wilderness was a deciduous forest, which held a special place in his heart because the light green leaves reminded him of summers spent at home, in New Hampshire. The Appalachian oak trees were the same as the ones at home and he let that observation lull him to calm. Sunlight filtered through the leaves, the wind causing the spots of warm glow to sway and dance.

He made it to the next river in record time. It was a benchmark indicating he was only two relatively flat miles away from his intended campsite, and the water gleaming in the sunlight looked absolutely gorgeous peeking from an opening in the forest. Feeling light and happy, Harry decided he deserved a rest from hiking. He definitely had enough time to spare to remove his boots and socks and dip his feet into the water.

He crossed the river carefully, wobbling a bit and shrieking as his foot slipped, but somehow making it to the other side of the bank with dry shoes and zero broken bones. It wasn’t until he was shrugging off his pack, resting it against a rock, that he heard the peels of laughter.

“Alright there, darling?”

Harry whipped around, startled by the sound of a human voice. He searched for the source of it, eyes landing on a shirtless man reclining on slightly slanted rock, bathing in the sun.

Stunned both by the presence of another person and the fact that this other person had a _very nice_ naked torso, Harry gaped silently for a moment too long. He was still stuck on the word _darling_ , teasingly used, but used nonetheless.

Realizing he what he was doing, he slammed his mouth shut so forcefully, his teeth clicked together.

“Christ, didn’t see you there.”

“I see that. Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just laughing because that was quite the song and dance on those rocks. Kinda hard to watch, I was so sure you were gonna fall.”

Harry squawked a laugh, embarrassment and the attention of this attractive stranger making him blush. “Can’t say it was very graceful,” he offered. “But I did make it across.”

“That you did.”

The conversation ended, just like that. The stranger closed his eyes again and if Harry really wanted to, he could leave and never see him again. It would be as easy as lifting his pack again and hiking to the next river, resting there instead.

But there was something that made Harry want to say something else, to keep the conversation going. With a sharp pain of surprise in his heart, he realized it was loneliness.

Harry looked around the bank, his eyes landing on a blue Patagonia pack resting against a rock, not too far from his own. He could keep his mouth shut and go on his merry way or he could say something. The choice was his.

“You soloing too?”

“Strange man asking if I’m in the wilderness all by my lonesome? Not sure if I should answer that.”

“Oh,” Harry responded, a little shocked. He made a good point, though, and people often told Harry he looked more threatening than he actually was. The broadness of his shoulders could be deceptive, apparently. “Um-”

“Joking, joking,” he chuckled, smoothing over Harry’s unease with a warm smile. He sat up, squinting in the sunlight. “Yeah, I’m here solo. Definitely not my first time. You?”

“Yeah, me too. Well, sort of. I’ve never done a solo trip before, so this is the first I guess.”

“Oh, really? That’s fun. How’s it going? Liking it so far? How long’ve you been out here?”

Harry sat down on a rock not too far away from the man’s, struggling out of his boots and peeling off his socks. When he sank his feet into the shallow, clear water of the river, he hummed with relief. The coldness was rejuvenating. He felt a contentedness settle within him at the stranger’s questions, knowing he was trying to keep the conversation going as well. He didn’t seem desperate for Harry to get out of his hair.

“I’ve been on trail for a week; it’s been great. A little lonely, I guess, but great.”

“The solitude is what makes it great,” the man agreed. “But always nice to see a friendly face on trail. I’ve been having kind of a shit trip, so it’s good to see someone’s got the luck I haven’t had.”

“How so?”

He lifted his left leg out of the water, showcasing it to Harry. “Busted my ankle last night. Couldn’t pitch my tent because I could hardly stand up, so I had to sleep unsheltered,” he laughed, “which was fine and all, until I woke up with a centipede crawling on my face.”

“Oh my god,” Harry gasped, both at his swollen ankle and the story of the centipede. “That’s awful, I’m so sorry. Are you- I mean- Can you walk?”

“Hobble, more like. I thought the swelling would go down today and it would be fine, but honestly it looks worse than yesterday.”

They were some nasty bruises on the outer side of his left ankle, black and blue and a gruesome shade of violet.

“Wow. What’re you gonna do?”

“Kinda hoping you have a phone on you so I can maybe call for help. I was stupid and didn’t bring mine, not that I would even get service out here, but.”

“Shit, sorry, I don’t have my phone with me.”

The man shrugged, gently lowering his puffy ankle back into the running water. “Eh, worth a shot. Your company's cheered me up enough. Want some gorp?”

Stunned by the man’s seeming lack of affectedness by his debilitating injury, Harry shook his head slowly. Gorp was another name for trail mix, the term perhaps deriving from the acronym for _good ol’ raisins and peanuts_. “Thanks for the offer, I have my own though. So you’re just gonna wait here until your ankle heals?”

“That, or until someone with a working phone comes by.” He flicked his bangs out of his eyes, pretty auburn hair shining in the mid-morning sun.

Harry shook his head, incredulous and distraught. “That’s really- I’m sorry, I wish I could help.”

“It’s fine, love,” the stranger soothed. “I’ll be okay. Like I said, I have quite a bit of experience in the backcountry, so I’m sure I’ll survive.”

Flushing at the kindness of his voice and the use of the word _love_ , Harry looked at the river instead of the really, really attractive man in front of him.

He couldn’t believe himself, so desperate for attention and companionship, he was blushing at the words of a stranger who definitely wasn’t flirting with him, even though it sounded like it. But this man had pretty auburn hair and bright blue eyes and his body was _toned_ , lean muscles displayed in the noon sunlight, strong and apparent. He had the body of a rock climber, and vaguely Harry wondered if that was what he was.

“I’m Louis, by the way.”

“Harry.” He reciprocated Louis’ easy, boyish smile, the gesture melting a little bit of the worry in his heart. Before he could even think about what he was saying, his mouth began blabbering on. “My trailhead’s only about twenty miles away, I think. My car is there. I was planning on two or three more days out here, depending on the weather. I think it’s supposed to rain this afternoon. But if you… if you think you can make it that far, I could go with you and drive you to the hospital once we get there.”

“Nah, you don’t have to do that.”

“No, seriously. I think,” he considered it for a moment. “I think we should do that. I’m not comfortable just leaving you here. Who knows when the next time someone comes to this river will be.”

There was a lapse in conversation, filled only by the rushing of the river. “I did get a little lucky with you, didn’t I.”

“I just think that’s our best option.”

“Our?”

“Yeah. I’m invested in your state of health and safety, now.” His own tone was a bit too flirty but he couldn’t help it.

“State of health and safety,” Louis echoed, his lips quirking at the corners. “Well, if you’re so sure…”

“I am.” Harry couldn’t believe he was being this bold, but he also knew there was no way he’d ever just leave an injured person in the wilderness with no reliable way out. They may have been strangers, but that didn’t mean they shouldn’t stick together. “We can start whenever you want.”

“Well, that’s very sweet of you. Thank you, then. I mean it. I’m not gonna say no to an offer like that.”

Harry shrugged, unable to meet Louis’ eyes. He ran his fingernails along the rock he was sitting on instead, drawing small white lines.

“Mind if we sit here for a bit, then? I think the water might be helping the swelling. Besides, my dog is off somewhere having the time of his life.”

“Yeah, of course. You have a dog?”

“Mhm. His name is Clifford. You don’t mind dogs?”

“Love them.”

“Awesome. He’s a big oaf, pretty clumsy.” Louis started laughing.

“What?”

“A bit like you, I reckon. The resemblance is uncanny.”

Harry made a squawk of indignation, his mouth dropping open. “Heyyyy-”

“Joking, joking. You’re a graceful little duckling. Could be a ballerina, probably, with that dance on those rocks over there.”

“Shut up,” Harry laughed, flexing his toes in the water. He was blushing under the attention, wondering when he had turned so easy for men who teased him so playfully. Or maybe it was just this one man, this one Adonis with the swollen ankle, sunbathing on a rock like a mermaid.

They sat on the rocks in the sun for a while longer, talking about surface-level topics that left their stomachs sore from laughing so much. Louis was funny, it turned out. Quick-witted and not afraid to tease.

A little while in, Harry got up from his rock to retrieve his gorp from his bag, eating a few handfuls of nuts, dried fruit, and chocolate chips. It was surprising and pleasant that the chocolate hadn’t melted yet. Meanwhile Louis layed back on his rock and let the summer sunlight wash over his tanned skin.

Harry felt proud of himself for making it through an entire conversation with someone so attractive his mind went blank. He learned that Louis was twenty-four years old, lived in LA, and had degrees in visual arts and music.

Harry was enthralled. He felt slightly embarrassed sharing his own backstory, mentioning growing up in a small town in New Hampshire and attending an equally small liberal arts college in Massachusetts for his bachelor’s in English. He made a joke about being graduated now and having nothing to do with his degree aside from going back to school for his master’s. Louis laughed but smiled sympathetically nonetheless.

“So why’re you in West Virginia?”

“Why’re _you_ in West Virginia?” Louis retorted.

“Because Dolly Sods is beautiful, and ecologically diverse,” Harry answered stubbornly. He also conveniently left out the fact about being dumped by his boyfriend of three years who cheated on him. Hoping to find himself on trail, or whatever the hell people went backpacking to find.

“Fair. I’m here because I like to travel. I’ve been lots of places. Did you know Dolly Sods has similar ecology to that of some parts of Canada 1,600 miles north of here?”

God, educated men made Harry’s heart melt. He had to look away. “Yeah, that’s cool,” he acknowledged, his voice a little hoarser than usual. He watched Louis reach his arms above his head and stretch obscenely, ribcage jutting out, and lost all train of thought.

“Well, I’m just about ready to get going, if you want.”

“Yeah, seems like it might rain soon,” Harry commented absently, pulled back to the present as he shifted his gaze to the sky and saw the gray clouds rolling in. It was an ominous sight.

“Lemme just get Cliff.”

Louis put his index fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly. Not a second later, a big black dog came splashing down the river, excitedly circling Louis’ rock. He laughed, reaching down to pet him.

“Need some help getting to the bank?”

“Um, maybe… yeah,” he responded shyly as Harry approached him with his arm outstretched.

Louis took his hand, grasping softly, and stood on unsteady feet. He hissed in pain as soon as he put his left foot down, lifting it quickly.

“Okay?” Harry was worried, brows furrowed. Louis’ hand was small in his own and unfairly soft for someone who seemed so strong.

“Yeah, yeah.”

He put his foot back down and managed to contain any noises of distress that might escape. Harry slowly guided him to the riverbank, helping him up onto the grass, leading him over to sit down beside his pack.

“I think it’s too swollen to fit in my boot.”

“Oh. Maybe just wear your sock then? We won’t be walking very quickly, so you should be fine without a shoe.”

“I guess.”

They pulled their socks and shoes on while Clifford jumped up onto the bank and shook the water out of his curly fur, getting Harry and Louis wet and making them shriek. Harry got his own pack on and offered to do Louis’ as well, but Louis waved him off and awkwardly succeeded in getting it on.

“So I was planning on camping about two miles from here, but if you’re up for it we should probably hike a bit further than that to get back sooner? It all depends on what you can do, though. I have enough food for myself for five more days, and then some, probably, so.”

“Alright, cool. Let’s just see how far we get. I have supplies for about five more days as well. And if we’re really starving we can eat the blueberries,” he smirked.

Indeed, Dolly Sods was known for its blueberries, cranberries, and less edible huckleberries. All of which were early in season right now.

“Might be a bit bitter, but we’d manage,” Harry agreed thoughtfully. He didn’t know much about surviving in the wild with no supplies, and he wasn’t really in the mindset to learn right now. That was something to prepare for, months in advance of a trip like this. He wasn’t ready to hunt for game or whatever it was people who lived off the land did. “Ready to go?”

“Yep.”

They began walking at a snail’s pace, Harry leading to clear sharp stones out of the path and looking worriedly behind him at Louis who hobbled unsteadily, grimacing in pain every time his left foot touched the ground.

They barely made it fifty feet before Louis stopped abruptly, saying, “Fuck, I can’t do this.”

Harry whirled around, gazing at his new hiking partner who was admittedly looking very pale, the pain taking an obvious toll on him. His breathing was labored and his eyes looked shiny, as if he might cry.

“Alright, we can- we can probably pitch our tents here and maybe wait it out for a day. I’m sure your ankle will be a bit better by tomorrow and we can try again-”

“Hey,” Louis interjected, cutting off his worried planning. “I can’t- I don’t think we should waste an entire day. I’ll try to keep going, but I’m not, um, sure how far I can go?”

“Maybe I can carry you?”

“What, and our two packs too? That’s just ridiculous.”

“Well, I’m trying to think of a solution,” Harry defended. “Would it be better if I carry your pack for you? That way there’ll be a lot less weight on your ankle, and you won’t have to worry about balance as much either.”

“That might- that might be better but I’m not making you carry my pack either. It’d be impossible.”

Harry shrugged, not sure what else they could do.

“Hm. I know this isn’t ideal, but maybe I could leave my stuff here? Like, just go without it. We’d bring the food, obviously, of course, for Cliff and I. I think I can sleep outside and stuff. It should be fine.”

Harry squinted at him. “I’m not making you leave all your stuff, and there’s no way you’re sleeping without a tent. Are you trying to get mauled by a bear?”

They stared at each other.

“We could…” Harry continued, thinking it through, “We could go through our things, decide what we really need, and combine it all into one pack. We can leave the other here for me to come back for as soon as I get you to the hospital. Or maybe once we have a phone I can call the rangers’ office and tell them we had to leave a pack here. That would work, right?”

“Hmm.” Louis put his hands on his hips, the move muddled by the fact that he has his one foot lifted off the ground. “That might be our best bet.”

They sat down right there on the side of the trail, shaded by the trees at the beginning of the forest, not yet very deep. Louis opened his pack and began removing everything he could get his hands on, from clothes, to food, to tools and supplies.

They gathered all of the food, deciding it should take priority because they didn’t know how long it would take them to get to the trailhead. They each chose two clean outfits, Louis foregoing a jacket because it took up too much space.

Harry strapped both pairs of their sandals to the back of his bag, since his bag was a little bit bigger than Louis’ and would hold slightly more volume. They packed everything methodically, light items at the very bottom, then heavier items such as the stove and the bladders of water in the middle closed to the strap, followed lighter items on the very top.

Harry figured he could carry six Nalgenes without it being too heavy, because he was a bit worried about running out of water, even though Louis assured him they would be fine.

“We’re surrounded by rivers, love. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Harry’s mind faltered at the word _love_ again and he struggled to get the last Nalgene clipped to the karabiner.

Louis then told Harry the story of the time he was a part of a backpacking group in Death Valley, and how two of the members got lost when they went to go to the bathroom. The two girls decided to split up to search for the camp, which is the absolute worst thing to possibly do in that situation, and they were both lost and stranded for hours.

Louis was a good storyteller and Harry suddenly found himself excited for the adventure on which they were about to embark. He couldn’t help but think this is exactly what he needed, someone friendly and lively, ready to pull him out of his shell.

He had spent an entire seven days alone, and as much as he told himself he was independent and autonomous, it did feel nice to finally have some company. The feeling of joy as he listened to Louis’ stories reminded him of something that had stuck with him ever since he first read it, years ago:

_Happiness is only real when shared._

The quote came from a man by the name of Chris McCandless, who renounced material life by “running away” from home and completely detaching himself from society. He went west, traveling hitch-hiking all over the country and catching freight trains, surviving by hunting for food. His last escapade was a trip to Alaska, where he eventually starved to death. _Happiness is only real when shared_ was that last sentiment he wrote in his journal before passing away.

Okay, so maybe it was a little dramatic, but Harry could relate.

“Alright, I think I’m ready. I feel bad about leaving all this here, though.”

“Yeah, me too. I think it’ll be fine though,” Harry reassured, standing up and offering to help Louis up as well.

Louis had since put on a shirt while they were divvying up their belongings, but quite frankly his attractiveness wasn’t any less distracting even without the gloriousness of his abs and the bit of fat that softened his tummy in a way that made Harry want to touch him. He didn’t mean for his thoughts to be so creepy and he tried to snap himself out of it, but then he got caught up in the other aspects of Louis’ appearance.

Harry couldn’t help but stare at the scruff on his face from a few days without a razor. And when Louis lifted the heavy pack to rest it against a tree off the path, Harry was entranced by the flex of his biceps.

He quickly shook himself out of it as soon as Louis returned to him, reprimanding himself for acting weird.

They started walking again, at a very slow-moving pace. Louis continually apologized, but Harry just shook his head sadly, his insides feeling heavy at seeing him in pain, gritting his teeth to keep it in. They stopped every hundred meters or so for Louis to lean against a tree trunk with his left foot off the ground, like a flamingo.

After about half a mile of starting and stopping, they felt the first rain drops dripping down from the leaves of the trees above them.

“Should we put on rain gear?”

“Eh, I think we’ll be fine,” Louis answered, dodging a puddle of thick mud with his precarious movements. Harry grabbed his arm to steady him and agreed. Louis had left behind his rain jacket, so it wouldn’t have been much use, anyways.

Five minutes later, the sky opened up and started pouring. They were immediately drenched.

“Oh my godddd,” Harry groaned, laughing uncontrollably. Louis started laughing too. Rain poured down on them, getting into their eyes and their open mouths.

“Suppose I was due for a shower,” Louis mused, grinning over at him.

The rain energized them, and powered them through a very muddy mile. Louis was doing really well despite the pain.

It became a lot more treacherous after the first mile because the previously flat, level trail suddenly increased to a steep incline. Water rushed down the path like a makeshift stream, completely soaking their boots. They were drenched head to toe and there was no going back.

Before Harry had embarked on his trip, he had done a lot of research to prepare himself for a solo adventure. One of the biggest rules of backpacking was to _stay dry no matter what_. As it seemed, they had already messed that one up, big time.

The tree roots jutting out of the path were their only saving grace, creating more reliable footfalls and stopping them from slipping on the mud. Still, with Louis having only one working ankle, it was a huge challenge.

Harry suggested taking a break but Louis was determined. He kept his arm linked with Harry’s to steady himself as they climbed up for another entire mile. Harry tried not to be weird and think about how close together their bodies were.

The rain stopped just before they reached the top, the sun coming out just as suddenly as the downpour ended. They took one last break before climbing up a little bit more and stepping out of the forest, into a field that opened up into the most beautiful views of the mountains in the distance, surrounding them on every side. The view took Harry’s breath away.

“Wow, this is insane,” Louis muttered, hobbling further into the wide-reaching field to get a better view. The trail was thin and not muddy despite the downpour, with healthy green grass on either side drenched in rain water.

With each step, Harry’s boots sloshed in the three inches of water that trickled down the path like a stream. He took in the landscape of emerald green grass, the clumps of wildflowers, and the stands of pine trees. A constant, heavy breeze encompassed the gently sloping hilltop, and it felt like a whole other universe.

Clifford ran ahead, happily splashing in the puddles and chasing the wind through the grass.

“This is called a heath barren, I think. Technically. But in the area they call this a huckleberry plain,” Harry said, still looking around in awe.

“Interesting. It’s so gorgeous up here. I could stay here forever.”

“We’ll probably end up camping up here eventually. This goes on for miles, I think.”

“Wow.”

Harry remembered reading about the huckleberry plains, described as “tundra-like windswept open meadows,” which were supposedly “reminiscent of Alaskan landscapes.” Before this trip, he had been doubtful of that description, unsure of how the landscape in West Virginia could resemble that of Alaska. But he saw it. He understood.

“Look at the mountain laurels,” Louis pointed out, gesturing towards the clumps of pink flowers in the distance.

“And the rose azalea,” Harry added weakly.

“Fucking hell. I don’t know why I didn’t expect this.”

“Me too.”

They stood in awe.

“We should probably get moving before it decides to rain again.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Harry agreed, offering his arm to Louis again.

Louis took it gratefully, curling his fingers around his bicep. Harry couldn’t help but notice how delicate his fingers were, despite how strong he was in general. The recognition made him smile.

They slowly traveled across the open meadow, surrounded by the grandeur of the earth. It was times like this when backpacking made Harry feel spiritual. His heart ached with the understanding that _this_ is what he wanted to do forever. To travel and adventure and experience everything the natural world had to offer.

Eventually they crossed the meadow and retreated back into the forest on the other side of the hilltop, now climbing down, though the path was less steep than the one on the way up. Their clothes were slowly drying from being drenched in the rain, damp clothes feeling sticky. They made it four and a half miles, long hours of hiking, after deciding to call it a day.

“Let’s stop at the next suitable campsite, yeah? I don’t think I can go much farther.”

“Yeah, ‘course.”

Almost as if it was meant to be, Harry looked at his laminated trail map and found a designated campsite only a few hundred meters away from them. They were lucky, this time.

They hiked to it, pleased to discover its location to be a small “island” in between the divergence of the river. There was a makeshift bridge of flat stones, which Harry used to cross and drop his pack on the island before returning to help Louis across.

“This is, like, a fairy island or something,” he commented, looking around at the way the island, round and no bigger than the surface area of half a tennis court, was covered in soft moss and a few trees.

Louis nodded in agreement, running his hand along the soft, wet moss before sitting down and peeling off his sock to inspect his ankle. “Feels like it can’t be real.”

“How’re you feeling? Ankle okay?”

“Not the best, but I’ll survive.”

“Can I take a look?”

“Sure.”

Harry knelt down in front of Louis, his knees slightly sinking into the moss. With careful, tentative movements, he wrapped his hand around Louis’ calf muscle to lift his leg and gently place it on his lap. Then, he turned it slightly to the side, inspecting the inflammation and the bruises. He wasn’t sure exactly what he should’ve been looking for, but he knew at sight that it didn’t look good.

“Does it hurt when I touch it?”

Louis watched as he traced his fingertips over the indigo bruise, his touch feather-light.

“Not really, but if you press down I’ll punch you in the face. No joke.”

“Noted. And you’re taking Advil?”

“Yep. Twice the dosage.”

Harry frowned thoughtfully, petting at his ankle mindlessly as if to soothe the pain away.

After Harry got the campsite set up, pitching the tent and also fastening a rain tarp between three trees to keep their pack dry, they wandered over to the river and sat on some rocks, letting the sunshine warm their skin. Their clothes were finally dry after the downpour earlier, and everything felt comfortable and pleasant.

Louis was lying back on a big rock, keeping his left ankle elevated to reduce the swelling as Harry instructed. Meanwhile Harry sat with his feet in the water, crouched over and lifting smaller rocks from the river to rearrange them in a crescent, the concave part facing upstream.

“What’re you doing?” Louis laughed, watching Harry like he was crazy.

Harry grinned, looking up at Louis, a curly strand falling away from his face. “Crayfish trap.”

“Why?”

“Lunch.”

“Gross.”

“Kidding. I’m vegetarian, actually.”

Louis scoffed jokingly, but agreed with Harry and said he tended to eat vegetarian on backpacking trips as well. It was more convenient. Harry was glad because he could handle some teasing on his “crunchy” tendencies as long as the jokes were in good nature. Louis was a very good-natured person, Harry was discovering.

For lunch, Harry returned to their shared pack to pull out the jar of peanut butter, squeeze-bottle of jelly, and package of wasa.

“Thoughts on wasa?”

Louis made fake puking noises in response, pretending to hurl.

“Well, that’s unfortunate, because it’ll be our lunch for the next few days. Until we get to the trailhead.”

“Ew. Do you know how much wasa I’ve eaten in my lifetime?” He turned to Harry, shooting him a serious stare with his pale, silvery blue eyes. “ _Too much._ ”

“Me too, probably, but it hasn’t gotten old yet.”

Wasa was a type of crispbread, each slice the size of a graham cracker, crunchy and entirely tasteless. It was used for camping as a replacement for bread because it could be packed easily and it tended to not get squished if there was something placed on top of it. Harry was a huge fan, especially of the whole grain variety.

“Yeah, _not yet_. Try eating it for every meal for three weeks in Banff. Absolutely awful. I’d rather starve,” he stated dramatically, flourishing his hand.

“You’ve been to Banff?” He didn’t mean for it to happen, but he was pretty sure his voice conveyed his poorly veiled awe.

Dismissively, Louis said, “Been lots of places. The point is I hate wasa.”

For some reason, at that moment, Harry was struck with the desire to sit there on that rock all day and just listen to whatever his new backpacking partner had to say. He wanted to hear every story he could offer about the hikes he had been on, the experiences, and the adventures. Louis seemed like the type of person to have an infinite amount of funny, entertaining, exciting stories to tell.

“Well, that’s just too bad,” Harry said instead, waving the package of wasa in the air.

“Can I see that?”

“Not if you’re planning on throwing it in the river…”

The sound of his laughter was a reward all in its own, a prize for making a joke that left Harry’s heart fluttering with the praise. God, when did he get so sappy? His heart had no right to feel this way, after it had been splintered to pieces just weeks prior.

Stupid, sappy heart.

“I’m not gonna throw it in the water, silly. Think of how bad that would be for the environment.”

Harry shrugged, clumsily tossing the package of wasa to Louis and watching as he caught it easily, not fumbling at all.

“Gimme the PB&J too, I’ll make your sandwich.”

Harry just shrugged again and let Louis do it, watching him slather a piece of wasa with an unhealthy amount of peanut butter. His brows furrowed in concentration as he valiantly attempted to squeeze jelly on top in a relatively even manner. When that was deemed good enough, he slapped another slice of wasa on top of it and thrust it towards Harry like a trophy.

“I swear to god, if you throw that at me-”

“Calm down. I’m not getting up, so you’re gonna have to take it from me or I _will_ throw it at you.”

Harry sloshed through the little bit of river that separated them and took his PB&J from Louis’ hands, their fingers brushing. It made him feel strange, first watching Louis earnestly make his lunch for him, then actually grabbing it from him. Like Louis was taking care of him in the way that Harry had been taking care of him all day. Different, but similar in a way.

Despite Louis claiming to despise wasa more than anything, he ended up eating three PB&J’s just like Harry. They licked Jif peanut butter and Smucker’s grape jelly off their fingers, drank purified water from their Nalgenes, and talked about backpacking.

“The first time I went, I didn’t know what the hip straps were for,” Louis admits, giggling into the back of his hand. “So I didn’t use them.”

“Oh my god,” Harry groaned, laughing. He tried to imagine how painful it would be to hike with forty pounds of weight resting only on his shoulders, not using the hip straps for support. “That’s insane. How did you survive?”

Louis smirked, eyes glinting in the mid-afternoon sunlight. “Booked a massage afterwards.”

Harry just shook his head, wondering about Louis’ life and how he could already tell it was so different from his own. Louis didn’t have to say it, but Harry knew, he came from a wealthy family and that was that. He was casual about it, and perhaps the casualness was what really tipped Harry off into thinking _hey, his family’s definitely loaded_ , because Louis seemed a bit too sensitive about not discussing affluence.

Harry wanted to ask, because he had a feeling at least one of Louis’ parents was a big name, seeing as they lived in LA and all, but he didn’t want to pry. Out here in the backcountry, superficial things like wealth and fame didn’t matter. Nature was the great equalizer, and the only aspect that set people apart was their experience and their knowledge of how to survive in the wilderness.

“High maintenance, much?” he joked, feeling relieved when it landed well and Louis rewarded him with another laugh that sounded like bells peeling.

“I’ve spent half the past year living in the woods, I think I’ve overcome that side of my personality.”

“Fair,” Harry agreed, peeking down at his crescent-shaped trap for the first time in a while to see if he caught anything yet. He was surprised to see three crayfish already encaged, and pointed them out to Louis triumphantly before removing one of the rocks and letting them float down the river.

“Be free,” Louis called out after them, lying back with his eyes closed in the sun. He rolled up his sleeves to turn his t-shirt into a makeshift tanktop and lifted the hem to expose his stomach to the sunlight.

Harry snuck a glance at his body, the smoothness of his caramel skin, the way he was so tan. His relaxed belly seemed softer like this but Harry had seen defined abdominal muscles earlier when they first met.

Looking at Louis made Harry feel vaguely insecure, if he was honest with himself. Louis had been in the woods for almost as long as Harry and still he looked infinitely better, the unshavenness of his face a huge turn on, his auburn hair artfully messy and shining in the midday light.

In terms of stature, he was shorter than Harry, not by too much, but enough that it was noticeable. He was strong, though, too, with his muscular thighs and toned arms, the way his muscles were defined and so aesthetically pleasing to look at.

Harry didn’t mean to ogle him but that was what happened. When Louis sat up suddenly and caught Harry staring at him, Louis laughed out loud but didn’t say anything about.

Not for the first time, Harry wondered what he was thinking.

“I have to piss,” he announced, shimmying off the rock and only setting one foot down into the water. He resembled a flamingo again, and he was looking at Harry expectantly.

“Oh! Um, well-”

“I suppose we’re keeping bathroom activities off the island, yeah? How about you help me across the rocks and a little further in the forest so I can relieve myself,” he said in a funny voice, wiggling his eyebrows.

As Harry guided a hobbling Louis across the rocks and through the trees, far enough away to award him a bit of privacy, he tried not to think about Louis’ small hand wrapped around his arm. Harry deposited him against a sugar maple tree with a nice array of rocks in the area to choose from and told Louis to give him a distinguishable bird call when he wanted Harry to come back for him. Louis flipped him the bird and began pushing down the waistband of his shorts. Harry took that as his cue to leave.

While Louis pissed, Harry wandered the forest and took in his surroundings, once again finding peace in the beautiful solitude of nature.

It was a hardwood forest, with maturing spruce copses, rhododendron thickets, and cove trees. Before Dolly Sods was a national forest, it had been used for logging, so most of the original ecosystem had been destroyed a century ago, and then reborn.

As he stood and looked out at the glimmers of the river through the trees, Harry thought about the huge turn his trip had taken in the past few hours.

This morning, he was completely alone, experiencing more solitude than he had ever experienced in his life. Now, he had the entertaining, easy company of a man his age, and somehow it felt like it was all he would ever need. Maybe it was just because he had spent a week utterly alone, or because he was at a point in his life where he had given up asking for too much. But being with Louis if only for a few hours made him see the world simply.

Suddenly the answers to the questions he had been pondering all week became clear. Asking, or begging, his ex to get back together with him was a bad idea. He also didn’t want to go to graduate school right away he felt burnt out. He needed to do something different; he needed to be with someone different.

Harry wasn’t sure where any of these answers were coming from but it calmed him because for the first time this entire trip he felt totally lucid and aware of the arc of his life. While driving out to Dolly Sods he had felt like the peak of his life was already over and he would spend the rest of it in some state of dissatisfaction. Today, he realized he had never been more wrong.

If he looked at this trip like a new beginning, the world opened up and everything became exciting and worthwhile.

The exhilaration of looking forward to the future was a feeling he hadn’t experienced in ages. But he was beginning to feel it now, the electricity building up in his core, the restlessness that begged him to stop at nothing to achieve his dreams.

 

^^^

 

After Harry recollected Louis from his bathroom break, they resumed their seating on the rocks at the bend in the river and engaged in an easy-flowing conversation that entertained them for hours.

One topic cascaded into another in an effortless way, despite the fact that they had just met each other. Harry attributed most of the absence of difficulty to Louis, because he was just so easy to talk to. He was so worldly and he had something to say about every topic Harry brought up. He also wasn’t afraid to admit when he didn’t know about something and that made him all the more attractive to Harry, to know that he wasn’t afraid to be honest.

“I can totally see you as an English major,” Louis declared, eyeing Harry in a way that made him flush under the scrutiny, harmless as it was. “Reading Virginia Woolf while drinking black coffee. Speaking in metaphors. Correcting people’s grammar. Oh, and cringing every time someone messes up the difference between lay and lie. Which is often.”

“I always mess up lay and lie,” Harry laughed, pretending to be triumphant. He didn’t mean to be surprised that Louis knew about a common mistake even published authors tended to make, but he was. He couldn’t help it. “But basically, yeah. Wide-framed reading glasses and everything. Did you know Margaret Atwood is the biggest asshole on earth?”

“Oh yeah?”

“She was a guest professor for one of my poetry classes and she was just awful. Everyone was scared shitless of answering questions because she would just glare at you and say, ‘You’re wrong,’ with absolute disgust in her voice I’m still traumatized from that experience.”

“Poor thing. Must’ve sucked ‘cause I’m sure everyone idolized her.”

“Yeah, definitely. We were all so excited and then she just destroyed all good feelings on the first day when she projected some of our poetry on the screen and completely tore it apart. Like, absolutely obliterated it.”

“Did she do one of yours?”

Harry nodded, shuddering at the memory. “I think I cried for hours after that. And I haven’t written a poem since.”

Louis laughed, and then slapped his hand over his mouth, looking guilty for laughing. His eyes widened and he looked at him with a certain tenderness Harry had never experienced before, his gaze soft and apologetic. “You really haven’t?”

“Nah, I have. Just being dramatic. Not about the crying, though. That definitely happened.”

“You poor thing. I’ll stay away from her work then. Not about to promote someone who crushes the dreams of young poets.” His voice was mirthfull but there was a hint of something serious in it, like he actually felt indignant on Harry’s behalf.

A silence fell over them and it was comfortable. Harry tilted his head back and looked up at the sky, the puffy clouds shaded by the descending sun, the beginnings of a colorful sunset. The world was shadowed in parts in golden in others. Harry shifted his gaze back to earth and found Louis was glowing.

“What’re you looking at?” He smirked like he already knew.

“It’s gonna rain soon,” Harry said, instead of embarrassing himself with the answer they both knew was true: _you_.

They sat unspeaking for another moment as Louis took a turn observing the sky, the unassuming clouds, the grayness in the distance. Harry once again found himself distracted by staring at him, cataloguing his features which were slowly becoming familiar.

Backpacking worked like that, turning distant interpersonal relationships into something much more familiar, much more intense. The backcountry brought people closer together in a matter a days than society did in weeks or months and it was really something special.

There was something about the hours spent together in the wilderness, completely alone and being able to focus all time on each other with no distractions. It was oddly intimate, oddly nice.

He was trying his hardest not to think about “backpacking romances” but his mind betrayed him anyways. There were so many reasons why it was good to fall in love, temporarily, on trail, and Harry was beginning to understand them all.

Romance while traveling was great because it was always so short-lived. There was never any opportunity for it to fizzle out, rarely any opportunity for one person to cheat on the other, and so on. And the passion may have been superficial and mostly founded on physical appearance, but it didn’t matter, anyways, because nothing would ever come of it.

“Loving” people while traveling was the perfect way to live in the moment. Harry knew this. He thought about it often, even during his seven days of solitude. He had been wishing for an opportunity to meet someone and let go a little bit, an opportunity to go with the flow, an opportunity to _stop being so uptight…_

Harry wasn’t sure when he started hearing Dante’s voice in his mind, insulting him, but it had been there for a while. _Uptight. Clingy. Stifling._ He bit his nail, his mood plunging. When had he started looking at this trip as a way to prove he wasn’t all the things Dante said he was?

While Harry was distracted, the wind persisted and rolled in a ceiling of clouds, which produced heavy droplets that wet the earth. The caprice of the weather matched his own state of mind in a depressing way.

“Proper weatherman, aren’t you now.”

Harry stood up, bare feet sloshing in the water, toes squishing into the mucky sand as he headed towards Louis to help him to shore. It was easier to busy himself by taking care of someone else than it was to introspect and consider why he was doing what he was doing. Stepping on the rocks to get back to the grass was precarious at best, especially with their rush to avoid the rain, and Louis stepped down incorrectly and hissed in pain.

Harry immediately pulled up short, checking in with him, but Louis only nodded numbly and kept on walking, all the way back to their pack under the rain tarp, sitting down in the pine needle laden dirt.

They set up the portable stove together as the pace of the rain turned steady, pattering down on the tarp above them. The sound was calming.

Louis demanded to make dinner, claiming he owed Harry after leaning on him all day. Harry obliged, but only because he knew it was useless to argue when Louis was so determined.

They cooked backcountry quesadillas with sharp cheddar cheese, green and red peppers, and lots of hot sauce. They sat cross-legged, facing each other, Louis with the stove in front of him, flipping tortillas on the frying pan and singing a medley of Britney Spears songs.

“2007. Most iconic breakdown ever,” he declared.

“I wrote an essay on that back in college, actually,” Harry admitted.

Louis added more olive oil to the pan and they listened to the sizzle. “What was it about?”

“ _Female celebrities and the media: The gendered denigration of the ‘ordinary’ celebrity_ ,” he recited, surprised he remembered the title. It was a good essay but he received a mediocre grade on it because it was the beginning of the semester, before his Women’s and Gender Studies professor realized he wasn’t just taking the class as a joke or to get with girls.

“Sounds cool. You should send me a link when we get back to civilization.”

It was the first they had talked of keeping in contact off trail, and it enflamed a spark of excitement in Harry’s belly. He wasn’t stupid, though, to expect much. Traveling was like that: you met people, promised to make plans and see each other again, and then never did. That was part of the allure of it, the temporal nature of each relationship, and the deep intimacy despite it all. Not that there was any burning hot passion between them right now, but.

Realizing he hadn’t responded yet, he coughed out a weak, “Yeah, sure.”

The quesadillas tasted like the best they had ever eaten before, each bite settling the hunger that had been augmenting since lunch. The rain around them was calming, both the sound and the feeling, and Harry felt he had never been in a more beautiful place with a more beautiful companion.

Periodically, they had to reach up and lift the tarp to drain the water from the point of the collection in its center, pouring sheets of water down the side. When the wind picked up, it blew the rain sideways, among gusts of chilly air from the cold front rolling in.

They both shivered but didn’t make any moves to add layers of warmer clothes, which was too much of a hassle and not worth it at this point. They warmed their hands on the burner which was cooling off after their meal, and Louis licked his fingers of hot sauce before scooching over to sit next to Harry, their bare arms and legs brushing together.

Clifford wandered near them, soaking wet from exploring in the steady rain, and curled up on their bare feet, licking Harry’s toes and making him laugh.

As the rainstorm continued and early evening fell, they huddled close to share body heat and avoid the rain coming in from the open sides of their makeshift shelter. Retreating to the tent would’ve been a better alternative but it was still too early to call it a night, and Harry didn’t exactly fancy the awkwardness of being in such close, confined quarters with someone he had met just this morning.

Louis was shivering and Harry threw his arm over his shoulder before he could think better of it, pulling him closer to his side like a friend would. Louis thanked him and sunk closer, his body still vibrating to warm him. Harry wasn’t very cold but the skin-on-skin contact was pacifying and made him feel sleepy despite the fact that it was hardly seven o’clock in the evening.

“What’ve you been doing this summer? Like, what’s your day-to-day life like?”

“Normal stuff,” Louis answered. “Working, hanging with friends. Nothing special.”

“Can I ask what you do for work?”

“I’m in the music industry. Behind the scenes stuff. Songwriting, mentoring young artists, stuff like that.”

“Oh. That’s really cool.”

Louis shrugged, cleaning his dinner bowl with the last bit of tortilla, wiping up the dots of hot sauce that had escaped his quesadillas. He popped the piece of tortilla in his mouth and chewed. “It is. I like it. What’ve you been doing this summer?”

“Working, I guess. Much less cool than yours.”

“Working where?”

“Summer camp. Teaching little kids how to spin pottery and not crash their canoes into shore,” he laughed. “Making lots and _lots_ of lanyards.”

Louis grinned at him, his eyes looking especially blue in the close proximity. “I’d love to see that.”

“It’s definitely an experience,” Harry agreed. “But not very sustainable.”

“I get that. Hey, have you ever read that poem about lanyards? By John Donne or something. No- wait. I think it was Billy Collins. I always get those two mixed up.”

“You mix up Donne and Collins?” Harry cackled, drawing his left hand through the dirt and trying not to be surprised and incredibly pleased that Louis knows enough poetry to have a conversation with Harry about it. “They’re the two most different poets ever. They’re from entirely different centuries.”

“I learned about them at the same time, alright?” Louis giggled and put his hands up defensively. “Anyways, there’s this poem by one of them about making lanyards at summer camp and how useless they are. I’m surprised you haven’t read it.”

“Sounds like Billy Collins. Haven’t read much of his work.”

“Well, my high school English teacher was obsessed with him,” Louis explained. “That’s where all of this knowledge is coming from, by the way. I don’t know shit about real poetry. But anyways, there’s this one line that’s like, _I’ve never seen anyone use a lanyard, or wear one, if that’s what you did with them._ Which is so real. What the fuck do you do with a lanyard when you finish it?”

An ugly, honking bleat of laughter escaped Harry, and Louis cackled at him gleefully.

“The trick is to never finish it. I don’t think I’ve ever finished making a lanyard.”

“That’s a really fucking good point.”

Harry liked the way swear words sounded in Louis’ voice. Sue him.

“I’m sorry for totally hijacking your trip, by the way. I know you came here for peace and quiet and I’m totally messing that up.”

“No, it’s totally- it’s totally fine,” Harry rushed to say. “I was feeling kind of lonely, to be honest. Two weeks of no social contact was a little ambitious of me.”

Louis eyed him thoughtfully. “You did a week just fine, though. I think you could do it; you’d surprise yourself.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Are you liking it so far? I mean, before me and my swollen ankle ruined all your plans.”

Harry let the _ruined all your plans_ comment slide this time, knowing Louis was just joking. “It’s been liberating,” he answered honestly. “Every day I get more and more indignant about my family,” and _other people_ , “telling me I wouldn’t make it more than two days.”

Louis laughed but it was weaker than usual. “Yeah, I totally get that. My family’s the same way. It kind of sucks, doesn’t it? Like they don’t really believe in you.”

“Yeah,” he echoed softly. It was one thing for his mom and sister to joke about him being high-maintenance, but another thing altogether for the people who knew him best to warn him from leaving for this trip because they thought he wasn’t capable of being alone for more than a few days. And then Dante, who said all of those mean things right before leaving...

He resented his dependence on other people, wanted to exterminate it completely. His lack of emotional self-sufficiency had only harmed him in the past, especially when he was with Dante. It was a mistake he was determined to never make again.

Louis must’ve felt Harry tense beside him because he quickly shifted to change the subject.

“Think we should call it a night? Don’t think the rain’s gonna let up any time soon and I’m freezing. Not to mention exhausted from hobbling all day.”

He let his arm fall down Louis’ back, extricating himself from the way they were leaning against each other, and standing up. Cold swept in, commandeering his body in a sudden shift of temperature from now longer sharing body heat. Harry shivered, and helped Louis pack up all the equipment they used for dinner.

“Don’t think we need a bear bag tonight, there’s no way an animal’s gonna wanna cross the river right now.”

“Agreed. Gonna be a bitch to cross in the morning, though,” Louis mused.

They stared at the raging river before it sunk in.

“Fuck. Do you think we’ll be able to cross it?”

In the time it took for them to eat their quesadillas and have a surprisingly wholesome conversation beneath the tarp, the languid river had turned into raging white-water. They watched a heavy log become dislodged from behind a rock and float quickly down the river, smacking into another rock further down and breaking cleanly in half.

Harry let out a low whistle, awed but not shocked by the destruction. Nature was powerful and he knew not to underestimate it.

“Should probably take our time in the morning, there won’t be any rush. Hopefully the water’ll go down by then?”

“If not, we can wait here for a bit. Nice little island. Won’t put us too much behind schedule, will it?”

Harry shrugged, knowing they would both be antsy to depart in the morning. As peaceful as it was on the fairy island, they had places to be and ankles to heal. He began scanning the river to scope out the best point to cross. Each possibility was treacherous at best. How were they going to get Clifford across? How were they going to get _Louis_ across?

Louis must’ve been thinking along the same lines because he touched the center of Harry’s upper back softly, as if to bring him out of his head. “Don’t worry,” he said, with a soft sort of conviction. “We’ll figure it out.”

He couldn’t help but feel the tension in his neck and shoulders ease with Louis’ steady touch. He exhaled, flashing him a grateful smile. “You’re right. Let’s go to bed.”

The sun hadn’t even set yet but the overcast sky was dark enough to make them feel justified in falling asleep. Louis followed Harry across the soft, slippery, rain-wet moss and laughed at him when the zipper to the tent got stuck and the rain poured unapologetically as Harry yanked it until it came free.

He clambered inside and then helped Louis in because it was difficult with only one working ankle. Louis lifted Clifford inside and then zipped the flap to keep the rain out.

They had previously unrolled their foam sleeping pads and sleeping bags, sharing the small space. Rain dampened the inside of the tent, which wasn’t completely waterproof even though it should’ve been. Where water collected on the roof, it dripped down in large droplets every so often. Water also seeped in from the edges, pooling at the corners even though they had set a tarp down to prevent that.

It wasn’t comfortable. It wasn’t ideal. The air quickly became humid and stuffy from their shared body heat and Clifford’s panting. They did their best to dry off before slipping into their bags but it was futile everything was at least a little bit damp.

Harry closed his eyes and tried to ignore the wetness. He also tried not to feel claustrophobic in the small space. The rain pattered steady on the tent and water dropped on his forehead in increments of eighteen seconds, according to his timing. He curled to the side to try to escape it, but the movement was futile and only succeeded in bumping his ass against Louis’ thigh through their two layers of sleeping bags. Louis shifted beside him. Clifford pawed at a puddle of water forming near Harry’s feet. A damp spot was seeping through to the back of Harry’s t-shirt.

“I’m just gonna say what we’re both thinking,” Louis voiced suddenly. “This _sucks_.”

Laughter bubbled out of Harry and a drop of water fell into his open mouth, landing on his tongue. He turned over on his side to find Louis already in the same position, facing Harry. “I’m glad you agree. This is really shit.”

“So shitty. I love camping but sometimes I wonder why I do it.”

“Hah, same. Honestly.”

They grinned at each other, humid breaths shared in the same space.

“We forgot to brush our teeth,” Louis observed.

He was right. “What, you don’t like quesadilla breath?”

“Oh, I love it,” he gushed. “Nothing better than the leftover smell of peppers and hot sauce. Mmm.”

Harry rolled his eyes, tapping his fingers on the wet base of the tent. He met Louis’ eyes and found him already looking back, his eyes a more silvery blue in the dim light. The tent was cramped, small enough already but worse now that they had to huddle closer together to avoid the puddles around the edges.

Suddenly, Harry didn’t know what to do with his hands. He curled them awkwardly to his chest, watching Louis’ eyes close, his long eyelashes brushing his cheekbones. _Beautiful,_ he couldn’t help but think.

Eventually, they both fell asleep.

 

^^^

 

“I can set up a line right here and it’ll be easy. We’ll make it across, no problem.”

“Harry, no. It’s too dangerous. If you go down there’s no way I’m gonna be able to pull you out.”

Their arguing began almost as soon as they woke up and found it was still raining, the river even higher than yesterday. Suddenly there was a sense of urgency, a need to get off the goddamn island before the entire place flooded.

Louis had began with a soft, careful disagreement of Harry’s insistence to leave the island sooner rather than later, a gentle “Harry… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

His tone had since turned sharper, the soft “Harry…”’s replaced with more adamant, staccato, “ _Harry._ ” every time he made a point.

“I’ve drawn lines before. There’s a clear path right here with lots of rocks. It’ll be fine.”

Louis shifted his weight from foot to foot with unease despite his poor ankle. He eyed the proposed path, calculating the maneuvers they would need to make to get everyone off the island safely, along with their gear.

Harry could tell he was about to give in.

“I don’t feel good about you carrying Cliff,” he argued weakly.

“It’ll be okay. The line will be up for me to hold onto. I won’t let him fall.” Harry was more worried about Louis crossing by himself, with his bad ankle and lack of balance.

Louis covered his face in his hands, groaning loudly. “Ugh, fine. I swear to god though, if you die, I’ll kill you.”

Harry just shook his head, laughing to ease the tension and wrapping the end of the rope around his hand. He had already tied it to the sturdiest, thickest branch of the tree right by the place where they planned to cross. He waited until Louis assumed his position further downstream to spot him in case he slipped in. Then, he gripped the rope tightly and took his first step into the white water.

The river reached up to mid-thigh, the current incredibly powerful and threatening to sweep him away. If it was any higher it would steal him without a doubt, and he knew they were taking a risk with this. The risk would be greater if they waited too long, he reasoned, trying to calm himself. The current was worse than he thought but he didn’t let it show on his face, sending a confident smile over to where Louis was waiting downstream, his lips pressed into a thin line, arms crossed defensively.

Each step was calculated and precise, testing out the slipperiness and stability of the big rocks beneath the water. He slipped once but caught himself, cursing under his breath and righting himself before Louis could worry too much. About halfway across, there was a dip where the water deepened.

Harry could probably risk it but Louis was shorter than him and he knew he would be able to stand his ground if he stepped there. It was a big reach for the next rock and Harry bit his lip. He would just have to tell Louis, and make sure he did it. The line would be there for him to hold.

The rocks were even more precarious near the other bank but the water was slightly more shallow. Harry heaved himself up on the bank and secured the rope to a sturdy branch, pulling it taught and tying it tight enough that it would be able to support the weight of a human body if one were to cling to it to resist the force of the current. Only then did he turn around and smile, giving Louis a thumbs up.

Crossing back was easier with the line to stabilize him. Louis was quiet when he got back onto the island and lifted Clifford into his arms. The labradoodle was gangly and heavy and it would be easy at all, but they head to try. Louis went back to his post downstream, fidgeting nervously, looking pale and worried. Harry knew if he or Cliff went down, there would be a small chance of rescuing them.

Clifford struggled as soon as Harry approached the river, desperate to get back to land. Harry did his best to calm him and then stepped down, using his right arm to hang on to the dog and his left to cling to the line. His arm ached only ten seconds in and he was so afraid of his muscles giving out from fatigue.

“C’mon, Harry! You’ve got this!”

The fear motivated him to move quicker, his arm burning and tingling with strain. The crossing happened in a calculated blur, and before he knew it, he was lifting Cliff up to the bank and clambering onto it himself.

Returning to the island seemed a lot easier after that. Carrying the pack on his back felt easier as well, and soon he was on the mainland nervously waiting for Louis to cross.

There was a look of determination on his face as he stepped into the raging river, one hand clutching the line. He moved slowly, each motion planned beforehand. Harry talked him through it, calling out directions, describing which rocks to step on. Louis swayed with the river current but didn’t complain, even though his ankle must’ve been killing him.

When he got to the big gap in the center of the river, Harry lost his breath and watched intently, as if that would help Louis cross in some way. There was no way for him to make it but to jump, which was dangerous and stupid and unlikely to end well.

Harry watched him close his eyes for a brief second, as if gathering courage, and opened them again. He focused  in on his target, which was impossible to see due to the white water. Then, he jumped.

In a flash, he was landing on the other side of the dip and he was slipping and an involuntary cry of fear left Harry’s throat. But Louis caught himself on the line, tight fist gripping it and yanking it down, pulling it taught and making the tree branches waver. He pulled himself up and shuffled forward quickly, making his own path as Harry was too stunned to direct him to which rocks to step on and which to avoid.

He was almost to the shore, fingers running loosely along the line which now sagged from being yanked. Louis stepped his left foot on a rock and slipped again in a flash, crying out.

Before Harry could even think about it, he grabbed Louis’ reaching hand, grasping him with all his strength to keep the river from stealing him away. In a rush of adrenaline he lifted Louis up and heaved him onto the bank, pulling him up with two hands tight on his ribcage when he could get a good grip there.

They collapsed on the bank, bodies tangled together, their chests heaving.

In a moment, Louis rolled off Harry and flopped onto his back, staring up at the covering of tree leaves. He turned to face Harry and their eyes met and they just stared at each other.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

 

^^^

 

Despite the near-death experiences of the early morning, mid morning brought warmth, sunlight, and happiness.

They were both shaking for at least an hour after the river crossing, trying and failing to act normal. Even Clifford was out of it, not his usual adventurous self. But then the sun came and lifted their spirits, and Louis began laughing wildly. Harry laughed too, as if it was contagious. The whole situation was just ridiculous.

“We almost died. Multiple times.”

For some reason it was just so funny, peels of laughter spilling out of them like champagne bubbling from the bottle.

“That was fucking insane.”

“Truly,” Harry agreed, tucking Louis closer to his side as they hiked languidly. His ankle was a lot worse after slipping multiple times in the river, which impeded their hiking progress. They had also discovered it was better and more stabilizing when Harry wrapped his arm around Louis’ shoulder, rather than just letting him cling onto his arm. Louis had his arm around Harry’s waist, fingers clinging to his hip, and it made Harry’s skin tingle.

The first two miles were slow-moving through the forest, wet from the entire night of rain. The mud was treacherous and difficult and at one point Harry had to pick Louis up and carry him over it because there was no better option. Louis had protested vehemently, but Harry wouldn’t take no for an answer. He lifted him up with hands clutching beneath his shoulders and maneuvered him to the drier section of the trail.

They took many breaks, pausing to admire the scenery and catch their breaths. It was easy to fall into a rhythm, and soon they were making great progress. By the third mile, they were back out in the open on another mountaintop meadow.

It was incredible how much closer they felt after experiencing a traumatic adventure together. It was easy and comfortable being around Louis but made even easier and more comfortable with the way they know felt a deeper trust in each other, already having proven they would save each other’s life if the need arose.

They found the highest point of the trail in their sights and sat down on their raincoats to protect avoid getting wet as they sat on the verdant green Allegheny flyback grass. They were both quiet but not exactly caught up in their own heads—there was a shared solidarity between them now, a deeper understanding of one another that made them feel interconnected.

While Louis made their lunch again and slathered peanut butter onto wasa, Harry observed the wind-burned rosiness of his cheeks and the red tint to his hair in the sunlight. The breeze was a constant hum, the persistence of the fresh air filling their lungs with something revitalizing. The liberty of sitting atop a mountain, seeing the world spread out all around, encompassed them.

“For you.”

The sandwich was placed in his hands and Harry grinned gratefully. In that moment, his self control waned, and for an instant he considered leaning forward and searing their lips in a kiss.

Not a good idea. Really not a good idea at all. He filled his mouth with stale wasa instead, allowing the peanut butter to stick to the roof of his mouth, saving him from acting on impulse.

Despite the events of the morning and Harry’s desire to kiss the man in front of him, there wasn’t any palpable tension between them. They felt comfortable together, a sort of peace settling over them as the sun warmed and tanned their skin and the wind brought with it the impossible possibility of weightlessness, if only an internal kind.

The meadows continued through the rest of their day of hiking, six miles total of high plateau land, exploring the windiest region east of the Mississippi.

They saw bushes of berries, thickets of mountain laurels, and clusters of handfuls of other flowers, most of which Harry could identify. He pointed them out to Louis and Louis hummed thoughtfully in recognition, sharing his own nature knowledge when he could.

The beautiful thing about the humid continental climate was that the daytime temperature rarely exceeded seventy degrees Fahrenheit, creating a comfortable temperature even during the hottest summer. By noon, the clouds had completely dissipated, visible in the far distance, the rest of the sky one entire blueness, uninterrupted.

Harry enjoyed watching Clifford run ahead down the trail, chasing butterflies and prancing through the grasses. What he enjoyed even more was Louis’ soft smile at the scene, the way his face crinkled, betraying his happiness.

They decide to call it a day around three-o’clock, making six solid miles and finding a beautiful campsite, out in the open on one of the high points of the subtle rolling hills on the mountaintop plateau.

Just like yesterday, Harry pitched the tent while Louis handed him the necessary pieces. It was still soaking wet from the previous night but the sun would dry it off in no time. They laid out their clothes to try as well, securing them with rocks so the wind wouldn’t blow them away.

After that, they had the rest of the day to relax.

“We should play a game.”

“What game?” Harry laughed, thinking of how they tried to play a trail game yesterday, confusing the rules for almost a half hour before realizing it was impossible to play it with only two people. “Eye Spy? I spy with my little eye… something green.”

Louis leveled him with an unimpressed look. “Grass,” he said dully.

“Damn. I’ll give you a harder one next time-”

“You’re such an idiot,” Louis joked, swatting him on the arm. “We’re not playing Eye Spy.”

“What, then? And you should be elevating your ankle by the way.”

Louis rolled his eyes but kicked his left leg onto the pack, leaning back into the hill and lounging comfortably. “We should play the question game.”

“Eh, sure. What’re the rules?”

“We take turns asking questions. You don’t have to answer your own question unless the other person asks it back to you after.”

“Anything off limits?”

“Mm, how invasive are you planning on being, Harry, um...” Louis paused, looking thoughtful. “I don’t know your last name.”

“Is that your first question?”

“No,” he huffed.

“Well, whatever. It’s Styles. What’s yours?”

“Tomlinson. My turn.”

“Wait, that wasn’t-”

“Doesn’t matter. Have you ever been in love?”

“Wow, cutting to the chase.” He sighed, wanting to tell a brazen lie, a confident, _no, I’ve never been in love with anyone but myself._ But he also wanted to be honest, didn’t want to lie to Louis, didn’t want to break this sense of trust, this connection. He dragged his fingers through the grass, twisting at a blade of it, and tried to be flippant as he answered,  “Yeah.”

“Hm. New rule: you have to elaborate.”

“Fuck off.”

“Pass?”

Harry grit his teeth, deciding. Surprisingly, he didn’t feel uncomfortable at the thought of talking to Louis about this. His heart rate remained steady and his hands refrained from shaking. He couldn’t meet his eyes, though. “Nah, I’ll answer.”

It struck him that his sexuality hadn’t come up yet and he was about to come out to this stranger he met in the woods, this stranger who might be a raging homophobic, this stranger who could murder him in his sleep.

Harry shook his head at himself, internally calling himself ridiculous. He had a couple inches on Louis; he could probably fend him off if everything went to shit. Besides, Louis could hardly walk. Harry could definitely outrun him, no doubt.

Okay, now he was really being ridiculous.

Louis had openly flirted with him minutes upon meeting him yesterday. Not to mention he was perhaps the kindest person Harry had ever met. He decided to take his chances.

“I just ended a relationship with my, um, boyfriend of three years.”

There was a silence filled only by wind, and then the sound of Louis’ low whistle.

“Three years is a long time.”

“Yeah. It is.” Then, quieter, “We had been talking about getting married.”

“Shit, man.”

Harry nodded, swallowing thickly. It had only been a month, and it still made his entire body ache in a way that didn’t seem possible or fair at all. A wave of nausea washed over him.

“And then he- Well, I guess I wasn’t the one to end it, actually, it was definitely him, which makes me all the more pathetic, but like, yeah.”

Harry wasn’t sure why he was saying any of this. It wasn’t even an answer to the question. But somehow he couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out.

“I was in love with him, or at least I’m pretty sure I was, and even when I left for this trip I thought I might still love him but I don’t really know anymore. And somehow you’ve managed to start with the most depressing question you could possibly ask me. And I’m rambling. Sorry.”

Louis nodded, his expression indiscernible. “My condolences. And no need to apologize, by the way. That really sucks.”

He sucked in a ragged breath, feeling dumb for killing the lighter mood. Louis still seemed easygoing, though, unaffected by the pitiable topic.

“Yep. My turn?”

“Go for it.”

“What’s your favorite color?”

Louis flashed him a disarming smile that almost felt flirtatious with the way he fluttered his eyelashes. Maybe Harry was hallucinating.

“Green.”

“Explain,” Harry insisted with a laugh, making him purse his lips.

“There’s a lot of green in nature and not a lot of green in LA. I miss it when I’m there.”

“Hm.”

“Hm,” Louis mimicked, grinning. “What’s _your_ favorite color?”

“The silvery gray-blue color of the ocean because it reminds me of home. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you choose?”

“Iceland.”

Harry’s jaw dropped open. “What, really?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“That’s my answer too.”

“Cool. It’s a great place.”

“You’ve been? I haven’t.” Harry was envious and in awe, wondering how many places Louis had visited in his lifetime, places Harry probably couldn’t even imagine. In the wake of this realization, he felt inadequate, untraveled, and unworldly.

“Yeah, I went backpacking there last summer. It’s absolutely breathtaking. Everyone’s so nice there, too, and it’s just a really chill place to settle down, I guess. Write music there and stuff. Anyway. If you didn’t have to worry about money or job security or whatever, what would you do with your life?”

Harry grinned. He felt like Louis would like his answer to this one, though he was a little embarrassed to share such a silly dream. “Learn to play the acoustic guitar and become a musician. I’ve always… I dunno. It’s always been something I wish I could do.”

Louis smiled at him easily, in a way that was effortlessly disarming. “You definitely have the voice for it.”

“How do you know that, though?”

“Smooth, deep, slow. The perfect triad. I work in the industry, remember?”

Harry’s face suddenly felt hot, his mind going places it should not go, although he decided to cut himself some slack because it had been about a month and this was the longest he had gone without sex in more than three years. “Thanks. Who’s your favorite person in the world?”

Louis’ answer was quick, no hesitation. “My mom. We’ve been really close my entire life; I tell her everything. What’s your favorite physical quality of yourself?”

“Um. My hair?”

“Is that a question?” Louis teased. “You do have nice hair, though.”

“Thanks. What’s yours?”

“My ass. No explanation needed. Favorite sex position?”

“Doggy. Favorite month?”

Louis laughed at his very deliberate question steering the conversation away from R-rated topics. “December, because it’s my birthday month, and also the holidays. You forgot to explain your last answer, by the way.”

Harry scrunched his nose, since he had been hoping Louis wouldn’t notice. “I didn’t explain the question before that either, though.”

“About your hair? You have to do that one too, then. Unless it actually makes you uncomfortable.”

“Fine. Whatever. I like my hair because it makes me feel pretty and it feels good when people play with it. And doggy because I like the view. Happy?”

“Yeah, alright,” Louis smirked. “It’s my turn, yeah?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Hey, you’d be having more fun if you asked better questions. What’s your weirdest kink?”

“Pregnancy.”

Louis’ brows raised in surprise. “Explanation?”

“Stop asking me about sex,” he groaned, tipping his head back towards the sky. He should’ve lied and said something normal; he couldn’t believe he was being so honest without a second thought. “I don’t even know how to explain it.”

“Like, you getting pregnant, or your partner?”

“Either, I don’t care, I just want kids. I love being gay but the whole not being able to conceive a baby sucks. Hence, the fantasy.”

“That’s fair. Ask something interesting.”

“Go-to porn category?”

“Ah, good one. Doggy, ‘cause it’s my favorite position as well,” Louis smirked. “Do you believe in god?”

“I believe in a higher power. Organized religion can be toxic and I think it’s very conceited of humankind to think we know anything about divinity. Cuddling or shower sex?”

“Hah, the tables have turned. Cuddling, definitely. Shower sex sucks. It’s just doesn’t work, logistically. Favorite candy?”

“Do Oreos count?”

“Yeah, why not. Wait- no. I asked about candy.”

“Alright, fine, gummy bears. Haribo. Don’t think I need an explanation for that.”

“Fair.”

“Why’re you here right now?”

“On this earth? Well there was this guy who stuck it in this lady and-”

“Shut up, I mean in Dolly Sods, West Virginia, smartass.”

Louis waved his hand through the air in an attempt to be flippant, not meeting Harry’s eyes. “Trying to find some peace and quiet. Running away from things. The usual.”

“Away from what?”

“Pass,” Louis said softly, tying two blades of grass together in a knot with his fingers and placing it on Harry’s knee. “Biggest turn-on?”

“Kindness. For obvious reasons.”

“What a sap,” Louis teased, smiling fondly.

“Worst date you’ve ever been on?”

“End of high school, movie date with this kid named Brad Steinhart. I wanted to watch the movie and he wanted to shove his hands down my pants.”

“Gross. What’d you do?”

“Let him have his way ‘til the movie was over, then he invited me back to his and I made up some dumb excuse about needing to get home to feed my sick cat. Which, mind you, I didn’t have. I didn’t own a cat. But.”

Harry shook his head, laughing. He could definitely relate to the experience; he had been on his fair share of uncomfortable dates during the past few years. He imagined what it might’ve been like to somehow meet Louis in a normal setting and end up going on a date with him.

“Alright, my next question is, what’s for dinner? I’m absolutely starved.”

“What, the wasa on trail wasn’t good enough for you?” Harry teased, referencing the lunch of wasa and cheese they ate while hiking in order to save time and get to a campsite before nightfall. It turns out, they had a lot more time than they anticipated, but that was okay. It was nice to relax.

Louis pretended to gag in reference to the wasa they ate earlier which was definitely stale from the humidity of the rainy evening last night seeping into the plastic package that wouldn’t close properly. Harry rolled his eyes at him and got up to retrieve the dinner supplies from their shared pack, firing up the stove and digging around for the ingredients he needed.

“It’s quinoa night tonight.”

“Fuck, yes.”

 

^^^

 

They made easy conversation all through dinner, laughing wildly and lounging back, enjoying each other’s company.

Harry wasn’t sure why but somehow today Louis looked even more beautiful than yesterday, which was saying something. Neither of them had taken a proper shower in many days but Louis managed to look absolutely stunning, so attractive Harry was nearly drooling over himself.

He tried to reel the feelings of attraction back in because he knew it wasn’t a good idea to be lusting after his new backpacking partner who was still technically a stranger, even though it didn’t feel like that at all. It was just so difficult to not be attracted to Louis when he was so good looking and his personality was just as perfect. He was the kindest, most genuine person Harry had even met and he just couldn’t help but be a little starry-eyed every time he looked over at him.

The temperature had steadily been dropping since what they assumed was three o’clock in the afternoon, although neither of them knew because they didn’t have a watch. Louis claimed he could tell time from the positioning of the sun in the sky and the length of the shadows on the ground but Harry called bullshit and didn’t believe him.

It was getting colder and they had both already caved in, putting on pants and long-sleeved shirts. As the day progressed and the temperature dropped, they put on more and more layers, slipping on pairs of wool socks and rain jackets, wishing they had more clothes when they found they were still cold.

The sun wasn’t even down yet and Louis was already shivering, all throughout their quinoa dinner which was by far the best quinoa either of them had ever had in their lifetime. They had stirred in cheddar cheese, lemon juice, sliced onion, and hot sauce, and the bag cooked an abundance so they essentially had an endless amount of servings shared between them.

By the end of it, after they both licked their bowls cleaned, Harry had leaned back and patted his stomach in satisfaction while Louis’ teeth chattered from the cold. Thus, they decided to build a fire.

Right now, Louis was meticulously arranging a mess of branches and twigs to make said fire. Harry had scavenged the wood from a stand of pine trees in the distance, since the campsite was surrounded only by fields of grass. Harry had forced Louis to stay behind because he didn’t want him hobbling around on his bad ankle when it wasn’t necessary. Louis pouted about it but he was happy now, contentedly building an expert fire.

Harry enjoyed watching him because not only did he have the excuse to stare at the adorable concentration in his face, but he also learned quite a bit from it. Louis had a method of creating campfires and it was a lot more planned out than Harry’s own method was. It once again reminded him that Louis was a lot more experienced than him, and he had a lot more wisdom from the extra time on trail.

When Louis was satisfied with the placement of each branch, he pulled out his lighter and bent down low to cup his hands around a certain place. He gently blew air on it until the small twig caught fire, slowly spreading to the other wood.

Harry clapped in celebration and praised Louis on his fire-making skills. Harry had never seen someone create one so efficiently and actually get it to light right away, even in wind like this. Louis said the key was to start low, close to the center where the little flame would be protected.

They huddled close to the tiny fire as they waited for the rest of the logs to catch, hoping it would bring them some much-needed warmth. Clifford was the only one who seemed unbothered by the drop in temperature, as he wandered the campsite and happily explored everything his nose could reach.

Harry looked over at Louis and saw him with his knees pulled to his chest, arms wrapped around himself as he stared pensively into the fire. Harry hadn’t yet managed to forget about their conversation earlier, the softness with which Louis said “pass,” that made Harry not even question why the reason he was here, in Dolly Sods Wilderness, was such a touchy subject.

Harry knew not to pry, but he wanted to know. He wanted to know everything about Louis, even the things that made his gaze turn darker as he closed himself off, walls going up. Harry wanted to know everything—even the bad things.

_Why are you here?_

_Trying to find some peace and quiet. Running away from things. The usual._

Harry was running away too. He might not know what Louis was running from, but he understood. Just as Louis  took him away from the thoughts that made him doubt why he was even out here in the first place and not on Dante’s doorstep begging to be forgiven for whatever crime he failed to commit, Harry wanted to be that person for Louis. The one who made him realize how purposeful this was, how he was meant to be _here_ , right _here_ , beneath the West Virginia sunset.

The smoke of the fire permeated the air around them, though it was in a state of constantly being carried away by the heavy wind from the west and regenerating itself, so it was never too strong. All they had to do was sit up-wind from the smoke and it wasn’t a problem at all, not like some bonfires Harry had been a part of where the smoke would come right at him and make it difficult to breathe, his eyes watering and burning.

Louis was still shivering and Harry was comfortable now that the fire was emitting heat, so he shrugged off his jacket and laid it over Louis’ shoulders before he could protest, adding another layer that would hopefully keep him warm. Louis had left his own jacket back with his pack by the river where they met, because it had been taking up too much space and he felt bad for making Harry carry it.

Neither of them had anticipated a night this cold.

“I’m fine,” Louis insisted, trying to give it back because Harry was only wearing a short-sleeved t-shirt and should’ve been a lot colder than he was. Louis’ eyes were glowing under the sunset and Harry just shook his head, refusing to take it back.

“ _I’m_ fine. _You’re_ shivering. Take it, seriously.”

“Fine,” Louis huffed, wrapping the jacket tighter around himself and shifting his feet closer to the fire to warm his toes.

A few quiet moments later, the sun had completely fallen beyond the horizon and the golden light was gone, though the sky was still glowing. In fifteen minutes or so, it would be completely dark, and they would be able to see the stars.

“I know I’ve said this already,” Louis began, staring intently at the flames, “but seriously, thank you for helping me. I mean, I would’ve been fine, but who knows how long I would be waiting at that river until I could walk well enough on my own to get out of here. So, yeah. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Harry allowed, just as sincerely. He could tell it was hard for Louis to say vulnerable things like this sometimes and he wanted to take it seriously and show how much he appreciated Louis’ gratitude. “I’m glad to help you too. Not just because I was worried for you, but because it’s nice to be out here with someone.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Louis agreed softly.

Harry knew what they were both thinking at that moment: that they had both come out here with the intention of leaving everyone behind and spending some one-on-one time with nature, a whole entire entity that refused to judge or be unkind. But here they were, two people who sought solitude above all else, and had somehow found each other.

Now that they were here together, Harry found it difficult to imagine how he had spent this entire trip alone

The very first night had been nearly terrifying, the way he felt so claustrophobic in the small tent and found himself hastily unzipping it in the middle of the night to take in gasps of fresh air and stare at the pitch-black that surrounded him, the sound of the river rushing being the only thing that oriented his sense of direction. The river was loud enough that it covered up all other sounds. It was so dark, he couldn’t even see his hand in front of his face and he was terrified of an animal attacking him without him even being able to hear or see it coming.

That night of terror and unknown was almost laughable, now. Harry had learned so much since then, about the wilderness and about himself. He had grown so much, he felt like a completely different person.

Driving out to the West Virginia wilderness, he had needed the solitude. Desperately. And he had gotten his fill of it, seven days of complete solitude. He was satisfied. He was strong. His mind was clear and he could finally see what he needed, what he wanted.

Now, it was nice to have a companion.

It was nice to have Louis.

“You know, I had no idea what to expect when coming out here,” Harry admitted.

“Oh yeah?” Louis prompted gently, resting his elbow on his knee and his face on his palm and looking at him with interest, a way of saying, _I want to hear what you have to say. Tell me your story._

“I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never been alone in the woods for more than a day. So an entire week was… it was definitely ambitious. My entire family thought I was going to die. My mom was so pissed. Still is, probably.”

Louis nodded. “I get it. My family is like that too. Worried, but stifling. Like, you’re a grown-ass adult, and if you can’t do this, then, yeah...”

 _Stifling_. The word sent a shiver down Harry’s spine.

“Yeah, exactly. And they- Well, my mom hated Dante. Like, _hated_ him. So when everything happened- I mean, when he cheated on me and I found out and then he broke up with me, she was so relieved, and, like, thinking things would go back to the way it was before he was in the picture, which is what she wanted. And, I dunno. It felt weird to have her act like that, so ready to move on from the situation, when I was the complete opposite of it.”

Louis hummed thoughtfully, eyes flitting back to the fire. It was dark now and the fire was the only source of light, scintillating a warm glow across Louis’ face. He looked beautiful then, in a different way from the way daylight made him beautiful. With shadows across his face his facial structure looked sharper, more severe.

“I mean, I really don’t know what I’m doing here, now. It seems so simple and stupid. I’m at the point where I can’t remember why I even liked him in the first place.”

Harry didn’t know why he was telling Louis all of this but it felt right to explain the thoughts that had been bouncing around in his head for more than a week now. Saying them out loud, and to another person, finalized them in a way, and made everything even more clear.

“The backcountry does that,” Louis agreed, rubbing his hands together to warm them up. “Makes you see everything as it is.”

Harry nodded, tipping his head back to stretch his neck. Louis was right. The solitude and the wilderness cleared the fog in his mind and made each thought sharp and clear, no lies, nothing muddled by expectations or standards. He opened his eyes, not expecting the sky full of stars he was greeted with. He gasped softly and looked back down to earth, back down to Louis.

Louis was smiling at his awe. “Pretty, yeah?”

“Oh my god,” Harry breathed, reclining to lie back on the soft grass and stare up at the infinite number of glowing pinpricks that blanketed the universe. He had never seen so many stars all at once and it was making his eyes tear up.

There was rustling beside him and then Louis was lying down too. It felt warmer down here, swathed in soft grass, protected from the wind.

“Do you know any constellations?” Louis asked.

“Not really… A few, I guess. I know the Big Dipper, obviously, and Orion’s Belt, I think? But other than that, I dunno. I’m bad at locating things. Wish I knew more, though.”

Louis grinned at his words, scooching closer and pointing up at the sky. “Alright, so you see the Big Dipper, yeah? The four stars that make the ladle and then the three that make the handle. Now, look at the two stars that form the front of the ladle, those are called Merak and Dubhe. Draw a line connecting them and extend that line up until you get to that star there, the one that’s a bit dim. That’s Polaris. The North Star.”

Harry followed his instructions, and ended up at the star Louis was pointing to.

“Up until recently, astronomists used Polaris as the basis for all the other star movements across the sky because they thought it stayed stationary. But, it doesn’t,” Louis said. “Not really. It shifts a bit in the sky each year, and every two thousand years or so, it makes a full loop in the sky, because of the way the earth wobbles on its axis. So, my point is, it’s not always true north. But it’s pretty damn close,” Louis grinned.

“That’s really cool,” Harry said, his eyes scanning the sky. “What else do you know?”

Louis laughed and gave him a full show, giving Harry a path to follow in the sky and names to call each star he pointed out. Harry desperately tried to remember it so he would be more oriented the next time he had a clear sky like tonight, but there was so much information and Harry knew almost all of it would be lost to him.

But he listened intently, glad to be hearing the softness of his voice, awed by his knowledge of the night sky. He ended the star trip on a dim cluster of stars that seemed to waver in and out of vision.

“What is it?” Harry asked, unsure why Louis was pointing out a dim, unassuming blur of stars.

“That, my dear Harold, is the Andromeda Galaxy. The only other galaxy we can see in our night sky without a telescope, just the naked eye. Cool?”

“Very,” Harry whispered breathlessly.

“And that concludes my star show.” He flipped onto his side and poked Harry’s tummy. “Wanna sleep out here tonight?”

“What?”

“Without the tent, I mean. The sky is clear, I don’t think it’ll rain. Plus, bears and other ferocious animals tend not to frolic in fields like this. We can put our bags out here and sleep under the stars.”

“Oh. Won’t it be cold?”

Louis shrugged. “Warm in a sleeping bag. I think it’s worth it, on a night like this, anyways.”

Harry grinned, unable to contain it. “Alright, yeah, let’s do it.”

 

^^^

 

They fell asleep beneath the stars that night, after setting up their bags and putting out the fire.

Since they had already set up the tent earlier in the day, they left the door open and let Clifford clamber inside, curling up contentedly. He seemed happy to have the entire tent to himself.

It felt special to be beside Louis beneath the blanket of stars. Harry should’ve been trying to fall asleep but he was too enamored by the sight above him, the stars twinkling. It felt like the longer he stared at the sky, the more stars he saw.

Eventually his eyes began to burn from keeping them open for so long, and he allowed them to slip closed, his mind conjuring images of faraway galaxies.

Beside him, he could hear the sound of Louis’ lulled breathing, beneath the constant hum of the wind above them.

 

^^^

 

Harry opened his eyes early the next morning to the sight of messy auburn hair poking out of a sleeping back.

Louis was incredibly close to Harry. His face buried into Harry’s side through the bag. His face had probably gotten cold during the night, and he sought out the warmth of the human body beside him. The thought made Harry smile as he got up to find a rock to piss on.

Another liberating aspect to backpacking in the wilderness was that no one yelled at him for his partial nudity. In fact, it was encouraged. Like the night when he bathed in the river. What else was he supposed to do?

After going pee, Harry realized he should probably take a shit since the opportunity had arisen. It hadn’t been a problem thus far on the trip, but now that he had a companion it seemed a bit more awkward. But now that Louis was asleep…

He had to hike quite far away to get to a stand of pine trees for a bit of privacy. Shitting in the woods was as art that he had already mastered, as he crouched down to dig a hole in the soft earth.

Leave No Trace had strict rules on bathroom activities in the parks and Harry was glad, with the amount of traffic that came through here. He was always impressed by how it felt like they were in the depths of untouched wilderness, while it was likely that someone had probably slept at their campsite the night before they arrived.

By the time Harry made it back to the campsite, searching for the hand sanitizer in the pack, Louis was sitting up and rubbing at his bleary eyes. He looked adorable.

“Sleep well?”

“Very. Nice shit?”

“Very,” Harry grinned.

They had oatmeal for breakfast again, two packets each, and it was much more enjoyable than the previous day when they had been standing in the cold rain.

“Don’t wanna leave this place,” Louis admitted, and Harry nodded in resigned agreement, staring around at the plateau and trying to memorize as much as he could, for when he was back in civilization and missing this moment.

The air was brittle and cold in the morning, condensation leaving their mouths in puffs, as the grass was coated in frost. They filled their bottles with the boiling water after it cooled down enough to not melt the plastic of their Nalgenes. Louis held one of the bottles between his hands to warm them and handed Harry his jacket, saying he felt bad for hogging it all night.

“It’s fine, seriously. You were colder than me. You should keep it, at least for the morning.”

Louis grumbled about it but ended up obliging because he was cold. Harry’s jacket was a size too big on him and it was quite obvious it didn’t belong to him. Harry tried not to laugh when he put it on and zipped it up but he couldn’t help it, earning him a sock in the arm.

“How many miles to go today, Captain?”

“Five, depending,” Harry answered, peering down at his laminated map. They had about ten miles to go to get to the trailhead, where Harry’s car awaited their arrival. “More, if we can manage. It’s mostly downhill, off the plateau, so it shouldn’t be too strenuous. There’s a really nice campsite in six and a half if you think we can make it there? It’s right on the river.”

“Sounds good. Let’s go for it.”

They deconstructed the tent together and meticulously repacked their bag, experts at it by now. Then, they laced up their boots and hit the trail.

 

^^^

 

The day was pleasantly warm as they traipsed through the woods, back down the side of the hilltop. They made three miles by noon, and the other three and a half four hours later, due to a long stop for lunch.

Louis was doing really well despite the immobility of his ankle and the pain that came with it. They walked methodically, with Harry’s arm around his shoulders to stabilize him. Louis, meanwhile, clung to Harry’s waist with a death grip.

It felt nice to have someone rely on him like this, in a way that made him feel needed and even wanted. Louis’ hand, despite clutching him so tightly, was soft on his skin when his shirt slipped up. His touch was gentle. And Harry was nearly melting under it, as unintentional as it was.

They were both sweaty with exertion by the time they made it to their campsite around 4:00 PM.

The campsite was located at the exact point where the fields of thick shrubs morphed into a soft-floored pine forest, with tall, thin trees like toothpicks and lots of sharp branches sticking out perpendicular to the ground. Compared to the fields, there was little underbrush in the forest, making it easy to walk around. About fifty feet to the side, a river glinted in the sunlight and flowed steadily, the trickle of its water through the rocks sounding in the air.

Harry let the pack slide off his shoulders, falling to the ground with a thud. Meanwhile, Louis peeled off his sock and took a look at his ankle.

“How is it?”

“Okay,” Louis answered nonchalantly. The tone of his voice sounded suspicious so Harry inched closer to get a look.

“Shit, Louis. That’s really bad.”

“It’s fine,” he waved off. “We’ll be at your car tomorrow and it’ll be okay.”

“Do you think you broke something?”

“Not sure. I mean, I can put weight on it without dying, so. I think it’s just a bad sprain.”

“ _Really_ bad,” Harry corrected, kneeling down beside him to inspect his ankle, the deep, dark bruises that blossomed all over the side of his foot and leg, from toes to heel to mid-shin. “Maybe we should try to ice it? Like, with the river I mean.”

“Maybe. I’m in the mood for a swim. Feel disgusting.”

“Same,” Harry agreed, standing up and helping Louis up as well. They hobbled over to the riverside and dipped their toes in.

“You don’t mind if I get naked, do you?”

“Um,” Harry mumbled, caught off-guard, his face heating up. “No?”

“Good.” Louis peeled his shirt off and then shimmied out of his shorts, kicking them to the side as effectively as he could while only on one leg.

Harry looked away, embarrassed, and focused on taking his own shirt off until he was sure he heard the splash of Louis’ body in the water. He looked up again and saw him dipping below the surface, but the water was crystal clear and his body was only obscured by the blur of the current.

And… Okay. Harry could do this. Easy peasy. Just skinny dip in a river with a really attractive man, completely alone in the wilderness with him. No problem.

Throwing caution—and decency—to the wind, Harry kicked off his shorts just as Louis had and waded into the water since it was too shallow to jump. The cold water felt icy and refreshing on every part of his body as he shivered in response. He dipped beneath the surface just as Louis had to wet his hair, popping up again and screeching because it was so cold.

Louis was laughing at him, from where he was standing at the deepest part of the river, the waterline up to the bottom of his ribcage.

“Holy hell, how are you not freaking out?” Harry cussed, bringing his hands up to protect his nipples from the cold.

Louis just snickered and swam backwards, the river lapping at his shoulders. He watched Harry struggle through the water, which reached his belly button at this height, and the rest of his skin was goose-bumped in the wind.

They had to pay attention to the current to not be carried downstream. It moved a lot quicker than it appeared on the surface, and Harry was aware of the tiny pebbles and rocks rolling along the riverbed, bumping into his feet every so often.

Louis swam closer to him and wrapped his hands around his wrist to anchor himself in the current without having to put his feet down. Harry carefully kept his gaze trained on the sky, feeling the summer sun warming his skin, and didn’t look down at Louis’ nakedness.

“You have a thigh tatt?”

Harry’s gaze flickered back to Louis’ questioning face, surprised he had been looking there.

“Um, yeah…” he answered absently, fingers twitching by his side. “It’s a tiger.”

“Interesting,” Louis mused, but he was smirking.

 

^^^

 

The clear skies that lended to a warm day turned into another cold night. Without the clouds blanketing the sky, there was little to contain the heat on the surface of the earth and it dissipated into the atmosphere throughout the evening until they were both shivering in front of the fire.

“Should be back in civilization by this time tomorrow,” Harry said quietly, trying not to be sad about it.

“Yeah. Sorry about cutting your trip short.”

“For the love of god, stop _apologizing_ ,” Harry groaned. “I w0uld be an asshole to just leave you there to die for the sake of a few more days out here.”

“Not an asshole to want more time in a beautiful place like this. And I would _not_ have died.”

Harry couldn’t argue because he knew it was true—Louis would survive, no doubt. He knew more about surviving in the backcountry than anyone Harry had ever met before and it made him ache to think tomorrow was the last day he would have the opportunity to be near someone so amazing.

With a twinge in his chest he realized he would have to say goodbye to Louis tomorrow. The illusion would falter as they returned to the real world and they would part to live their completely separate, utterly different lives. Never to see each other again.

Louis must’ve been thinking the same thing because he huddled closer to Harry under the guise of seeking body warmth, and asked what he planned on doing when returning to society.

“Probably gonna find somewhere to sleep in my car, or get a cheap hotel room or something, then drive home the next day, I guess.”

He wasn’t entirely sure what he was going to do, but nothing seemed less appealing than going back home and facing all the people he ran away from. All the people who looked at him with pity after what happened between him and Dante. As if his life was a soap opera for their consumption, for their entertainment.

Louis hummed. “And what’s back home for you in New Hampshire? That’s where you’re living right now, right?”

“Yeah, I’ve been at camp all summer and I’m visiting my family until the semester starts.”

“Oh, so you are doing the master’s program then?”

“Yeah, at NYU actually. I’ve never… I’m not really a city person, but I figured there would be a lot of opportunities there, so.”

“For sure,” Louis agreed. “It’s nice.” He didn’t sound very enthusiastic.

“You’ve been?” It’s a stupid question because of course he’s been to New York City, this man who’s been everywhere. But Louis didn’t seem willing to elaborate without reason, and Harry just gave him a reason by asking the question.

“I have a few friends there. I visit a lot.”

“How often.”

Louis laughed. “Once a month, maybe. For a weekend or so.”

“Wow. Between LA and New York…”

“I spend quite a bit of time in cities. Have to break it up by running away from everything and hiding in the woods for a few days or so. Spraining ankles and meeting cute boys. You know how it goes.”

Harry blushed, sure Louis didn’t mean anything by it. Still, there was a sense of urgency thrumming beneath his veins. He didn’t want Louis to hobble out of his life tomorrow, never to be seen again. He didn’t want this to be over so soon, without even a chance at anything.

They stayed quiet after that. Harry pulled Louis into his side, figuring this would be the last night he was able to do this. He tucked him under his arm, feeling his body vibrating with each shiver, and wished he was enough to warm him. But even between Harry and the fire, he was still cold.

Somehow, after days in the wilderness, Louis smelled _good_. They had washed themselves in the river earlier in the day and laid out in the sun to dry off, putting on the last of their clean clothes, though everything had been mixed around in the pack by that point.

Harry was certain it was just _Louis_ who smelled good at this point, the scent of his hair, his skin. That was weird. Harry knew that was weird. But he couldn’t help but inhale with his nose pressed to the top of his head, his hair which had dried smooth and soft after the river.

The natural scent of another person beside him was comforting mixed in with the smoke of the fire. They sat quietly, petting Clifford and watching the flames. An owl hooted in the distance and they held each other a little closer, listening intently.

When Harry focused his attention in the proper places, he could pinpoint the distinct sounds of the night around them. The owl cooing from its spot on a branch somewhere far away and hidden. Crickets chirping, rubbing their wings together. A frog croaking by the river. Fire crackling. The hoof of a deer stepping down on sun-dried pine needles. The lull of Louis’ breathing.

“Ready for bed, Harry?”

He nodded helping Louis up. They put out the fire. Clifford followed them back to the tent and snuggled by their feet as they got into their sleeping bags.

After saying goodnight, Harry closed his eyes and ignored the sinking feeling in his stomach. His trip was coming to an end and he would be home in a few days and it would be okay. He kept repeating that to himself. It would be okay.

But he couldn’t fall asleep.

The night sounds were calming, coupled with the constant hum of the river, and Louis’ breathing next to him, and Clifford snoring at their feet. Despite it all, Harry felt restless. His mind refused to quiet, to calm.

Beside him, Louis rustled.

“Harry?”

“Hm?”

“It’s really fucking cold.”

A warmth flooded his chest as he turned on his side to look at his companion in the darkness.

“It is,” he agreed.

“Can we- Can I come closer?”

“C’mere,” Harry agreed, wrapping his arm around his waist which was covered by the material of his sleeping bag. Pulling him closer.

Louis buried his face in the front of Harry’s bag and mumbled something unintelligible.

“What was that?”

He lifted his head up. “Still freezing...”

“Do you want to share?”

“What?”

Harry’s heart was pounding and he knew he was being stupid, but Louis was cold and Harry wanted to be close to him, so what? He scooched to the far end of his bag and unzipped it a little, motioning for him to come inside.

Louis raised his brows at him. They had never been this close before. Harry was hardly breathing as Louis slipped out of his bag and clambered into Harry’s.

There was hardly any room, no way to do it without their bodies pressed together. Louis wiggled inside, bumping their knees in the process. He had to be careful about his ankle. They were both on their sides, legs tangled without meaning to be.

“Comfortable?” Harry could hardly breathe. It was suddenly very warm. His hands were trapped against his chest; he had no idea where to put them.

“Kind of. Hang on. Do you mind if I..?”

“No, no, go ahead!”

Louis set his arm around Harry’s waist, letting it rest there as he moved a little bit closer, resting his palm against the center of Harry’s back. He could feel as Louis’ fingers tensed slightly, pressing against his skin.

He nuzzled closer and his nose brushed against Harry’s chest.

“Are _you_ comfy?”

“Yeah,” Harry insisted. “Yes.” His hands were still trapped between them, beginning to get slightly sweaty. He had suggested this for Louis’ comfort, not wanting his teeth to chatter any longer, but now it seemed unlikely _Harry_ was going to get any sleep tonight, with how close Louis was and how much it lit his entire being aflame.

“You can touch me. I don’t mind.”

He wasn’t sure exactly where to put his limbs that wouldn’t be weird. Louis lifted his head as Harry stretched one arm out, and then rested it on his bicep like a pillow, snuggling closer. It was easy to let his other arm wrap around Louis’ upper back; it felt comfortable and safe.

“Better?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“No need. All good. I’m very warm now. Thanks for inviting me inside.”

“No problem.”

Louis was burrowed in the sleeping bag—burrowed against Harry’s chest—and only his hair was poking out the top. He was the perfect height for Harry to rest his chin against the top of his head and even though Harry didn’t need to, he just couldn’t resist.

They were wearing as many layers of clothing as they could manage, most of it clean, but everything smelled like the earth anyways so it didn’t really matter. Even through all the layers, it was incredibly intimate to be pressed up against each other in such a small space.

Harry’s heartbeat had since slowed to a normal tempo, though. He couldn’t help but feel calmed with the presence of a warm human curled against him, their bodies entwined. It’d been so long since he’d been afforded this kind of intimacy, and longer still since it had felt real.

With Louis, everything felt real.

It was easy not to think about their departure tomorrow, with Louis pressed against him and the wild world around them. The wilderness tended to do that, putting his worries into perspective.

He had Louis with him now and it seemed so simple.

 

^^^

 

One of the best aspects of camping was the promise of a restful night.

Harry had learned on his solo trip that there was nothing better than sliding into his bag, passing out, and waking up ten hours later to the sunrise, feeling completely rested and ready to take on the day.

There was something about the ease of nature, mixed with the cooler temperatures and day’s ardor, that made it so uncomplicated to fall asleep and stay asleep until morning. Some of Harry’s best nights of rest were on trail, in the backcountry. There was just something special about it.

This night fell under the same category of contented, serene slumber.

When he opened his eyes, the tent was glowing with early morning light and he could see the condensation of his breath puffing every time he exhaled.

Usually, as soon as Harry woke up in the morning, he would unzip his bag and get up for the day. Undo the bear bag from the tree branch on which it was suspended. Start the water boiling on the burner to make his coffee and his oatmeal. Find a rock to pee on. Wash his face in the river. Reorganize his pack. Lace his boots. Stare out at the vast expanse of earth unbothered by humanity. Get on trail.

Today, though, Harry had someone clinging to him for warmth, even in his sleep, face buried in his chest. He couldn’t justify waking him up and he couldn’t justify leaving him, either.

He shifted backwards, just to test it out, and smiled when Louis followed him subconsciously, chasing his warmth. It was by far the coldest morning of their trip, but Harry knew they would warm up as soon as they got on trail and began exerting themselves.

That was how it went on trips like this: common plights seemed so much less severe. The wilderness made it clear what really mattered.

Somehow in the night, they had both completely relaxed around each other in a way that just wasn’t possible when they were both conscious. Louis had made himself smaller, curling up, and his thigh was shoved between Harry’s.

Harry let him sleep because he figured it wouldn’t hurt. They had about five miles to travel today, but after that it was back to civilization. Back to reality.

Harry wasn’t ready.

Louis woke up perhaps half an hour later, while Harry was drifting in and out of consciousness. The bag was warm and toasty with both of their bodies jammed inside, and when Louis shuffled even a little bit, Harry felt it. It was then that Harry realized they were both hard.

Obviously this was a common occurrence and they were both adults who should’ve been able to handle morning wood gracefully, but.

 _Oh god_ , he thought absentmindedly.

“Sleep well?” Harry asked, politely ignoring Louis’ leg which was jammed up against Harry’s crotch. Now that he was aware of it, he couldn’t stop thinking of it. The peace and tranquility of the morning disappeared as his heart began to hammer in his chest.

“Very.” Louis’ voice was soft like a feather in his sleepiness. He carefully extricated his leg from between Harry’s thighs. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Harry squeaked, jamming his eyes shut. His voice was an octave higher than normal. God, he was so embarrassing. He tried to wiggle out of the bag, but the zipper was on Louis’ side and Harry was stuck.

“Hang on, let me-”

Louis craned his arm behind himself to reach the zipper. He tugged on it, but it wouldn’t budge.

“Fuck, it’s stuck-”

“What?” Harry gasped, his entire body aflame.

Louis wriggled around, trying to get a better angle to yank the zipper down. “It’s stuck on the fabric,” he explained, but Harry wasn’t listening because _the position they were in…_

He struggled to pull himself together. Louis’ beautiful, glorious ass was pressed against him and he was going to die, just like that.

A blush creeped up Harry’s neck, his entire body flush with embarrassment and desire. He couldn’t believe himself for acting this way, but also Louis was the most attractive person on earth, inside and out. An actual angel.

Harry was so fucked.

“Harryyyy,” Louis whined, “I can’t get it!”

“Let me try.”

He was desperate to get out of here. The close proximity was nice when they were sleeping, warmth shared between them in a way that promised rest. But now that Harry’s entire body was burning up with desire, he never more wanted the cold, fresh air of the outdoors.

It was an awkward angle because Louis was in the way and he had to wrap his arm around him to get to the zipper. Louis giggled and flipped over to resume burying his nose in Harry’s chest to keep warm.

Harry tried pulling the fabric away from where it was caught under the metal but it wasn’t worth the hassle. Eventually he just decided to tug as hard as he could, which he had avoided before because he was afraid of breaking it, but he figured it didn’t matter. He could buy another sleeping bag if he really needed one after this trip.

With particularly harsh yank, the zipper came undone. It slid easily down the side, opening the bag. Harry sighed in relief as Louis cheered in celebration, rolling out to give them some space.

The bag pooled around Harry’s waist as he sat up, which was a good thing. He was wearing shorts _and_ pants over the shorts, because the night had been so cold, but it still wasn’t enough to cover his attraction.

Louis didn’t seem to mind, as he kissed Harry on the cheek, thanking him for keeping him warm last night. He crawled out of the tent on his knees because he still couldn’t walk on his foot, and Harry just sat there, stunned. His skin was still tingling from where Louis’ sweet, soft lips brushed against his cheek.

Breakfast was calm and quiet.

They ate their packets of instant oatmeal and warmed their hands with the steam coiling above the pot of boiling water. Harry had since done his business far away from their camp and decidedly did _not_ jack off in the wilderness. He could control himself a bit more than that. But he definitely considered it.

They shared a cup of coffee as they did the other days, because they only had one mug. Once they got back to Harry’s car, they would need to go through the pack and separate all of their belongings once again. They were only five miles away from the vehicle that would bring them back to civilization and Harry was sad about it.

After breakfast, they broke down their campsite together, untying the bear bag and taking down the rain tarp. Harry wanted Louis to sit down and rest his ankle but he refused, stubborn about offering his help. They deconstructed the tent as well and repacked the bag. After that, they were ready to hit the trail.

“Ready to go, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed, setting his arm comfortably on Louis’ shoulders to support him. Louis wove his arm around Harry’s waist easily. It was a position they were comfortable in now, after many hours of walking together like this. It felt easy and natural; they fit together like puzzle pieces.

They were both feeling sentimental as they began hiking and Harry had to brush away a few tears before Louis caught sight of them. This was the last hike of his first solo backpacking trip in his life and he wasn’t ready for it to be over.

So much had changed since he entered Dolly Sods Wilderness a little more than a week ago. He had entered the park feeling downtrodden and more alone than he’d ever felt in his entire life.

Now, ten days later, he was leaving feeling confident in himself and his independence.

But also… he was leaving with a new friend. He was leaving with someone kind and adventurous. Someone who didn’t question his capabilities. Someone who made him feel whole.

Louis’ fingers tightened around Harry’s waist, where he was clutching the soft pudge of his hip. Harry wondered what he was thinking, if it was along the lines of his own thoughts, if Louis felt the same way.

This was only their fourth day of knowing each other but time was different in the backcountry. They talked for hours and learned about each other in a way that felt real. Harry couldn’t remember the last time he felt comfortable enough to truly be himself, but he realized with a start that he had been nothing but honest with Louis. About everything.

The first mile of their hike consisted of the familiar pine forests with long rows of tall, thin trees and spiky branches, dark wood and evergreen needles.

After that, they began to climb up. The trailhead was located at the highest point on Harry’s trip, so he would have a positive net elevation climb throughout his days of backpacking. It felt better like that, more momentous, more important. He wanted to end with the best view, a symbolic sort of achievement.

The forest opened up into the mountainous plains of sphagnum moss and grasses, flowers dotting bright pinks and reds in the distance. They stopped once to try the blueberries and laughed when their faces scrunched with how sour they were. Clifford walked diligently in front of them, leading the way but looking back to them for direction and commands.

Louis didn’t say anything but Harry knew he was in pain. He had been in pain ever since he sprained his ankle, and with all the hiking they were doing, it was only getting worse. Harry felt bad and he wanted to lift Louis in his arms and carry him the remaining miles to safety but he knew it wasn’t possible, and even if it was, Louis would never let him.

Harry proposed they take a break, saying he was tired. Truthfully, he wanted to give Louis an opportunity to sit down and rest his ankle.

They sat in the grass and took in the gorgeous view in front of them. Despite being in Dolly Sods for ten days now, Harry had never seen anything quite like it. They were at the highest point thus far and the mountains were spread out in front of them, absolutely breathtaking.

It made Harry feel small and insignificant but it also made life itself feel important. He wanted to be here right now, he wanted to be alive, he wanted to experience this adventure. There was no doubt about it. He no longer felt downtrodden. The natural world had revived him.

He looked over at Louis to share this wisdom. But then he saw the pensive look on his face and wondered what he was thinking about. It was crazy, how they could be sitting right next to each other but somehow light years away, in their own worlds.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked quietly, pressing his thumb to Louis’ thigh just because he could.

Louis pursed his lips like he was deciding whether or not to give his thoughts a voice. Harry encouraged him with a gentle expression on his face, his features soft. He wanted to know, but he didn’t want to pressure him.

“Just thinking that your ex is an asshole, and you didn’t deserve that at all. You deserve someone who will treat you right. And like, the whole world, really. I dunno.”

He was surprised Louis was thinking about that but he tried not to let it show. He rested his head on Louis’ shoulder, keeping his gaze trained on the vista of beautiful mountains as he felt he eyes blur with tears. “You’re sweet,” he whispered.

 

^^^

 

A while later they returned to the trail and resumed hiking. Harry couldn’t get Louis’ words out of his head. He didn’t necessarily believe them, but he didn’t know what to believe anymore.

The closer and closer they got to civilization, the more Harry realized his life was still a mess.

As much clarity as this trip gave him, it didn’t fix anything. He would be driving home to live with his parents for the next few weeks before his classes started. He still had to retrieve some of his belongings from Dante’s apartment. He had always considered it a home they shared between the two of them, but now that he really thought about it, he realized how wrong he was. It was Dante’s apartment and it always had been. Harry was only a guest, and now he was an unwelcome one.

The rest of the trek was beautiful and Harry was crying unashamedly by the time they made it to the trailhead. Clifford ran happily into the parking lot, circling Harry’s car which was waiting there, right where he left it. The whole place looked much different than when Harry first saw it, though nothing had changed.

Louis and Harry turned around to admire the view spread out around them. They kept their backs to the parking lot and looked out over the mountains they had just traipsed during the past week. Louis hugged Harry’s side and they both knew it was more for comfort than it was to physically support Louis’ poor ankle.

“We should take a picture,” Louis said suddenly. “Your phone’s in your car?”

Harry nodded and retrieved it, feeling the cold metal in his hands. This was the longest he had ever gone without a phone since he first got one when he was a teenager and it felt weird to hold it again. He swiped to get to the camera and held it up so they could take a selfie.

They were both a mess. Harry was crying and they both definitely looked like they had just spent a lot of time in the wilderness. But they were happy, too. Glowing. Louis wiped the tears away from Harry’s face and they both laughed because it was just ridiculous. Louis wrapped his arm around him again, leaning on him for support. They took a bunch of pictures with the mountains in the background, the photographic proof of what they had achieved. They even got a few with Clifford in them as well.

“Send these to me,” Louis ordered. “I’m putting my number in your contacts.”

“Alright,” Harry agreed.

He helped Louis into the car and Clifford jumped into the back. He heaved their pack into the trunk and they both removed their muddy boots and socks as well. They said their last goodbyes to the beautiful mountains that brought them together and then Harry put the car into gear and began driving.

The GPS on his phone said it was a fifty-nine minute drive to the nearest hospital, thirty-eight miles away.

“You should drop me off at my car,” Louis said. “I can drive myself there. You’ve done enough.”

Harry’s shoulders tensed at the idea of saying goodbye sooner than anticipated. It was definitely over-the-top to drive Louis to the hospital, though, and then to bring him back to Dolly Sods to pick up his car. Harry shrugged as nonchalantly as he could and asked Louis to direct him to the trailhead where his car was parked.

The road was wide enough for only one car and it was unpaved, the rocks and dirt jostling the car. It jostled them around and was a bit scary to drive, so Harry went slowly. They passed untouched wilderness and other trailheads, a few backpackers getting ready to hit the trail. Harry was envious that their adventure was only just beginning as his own was coming to an end. He wanted to drag the trip out forever, so he and Louis could stay in their own little bubble and not face the world.

They arrived at Louis’ car half an hour later, after a quiet, pensive drive. Louis smiled weakly as Harry pulled into the parking lot and stopped the car right by his own.

After redistributing the items from their shared pack, Harry stood there helplessly as Clifford jumped into the back seat and Louis got in the driver’s side. It was his left ankle that was injured, so he would be okay to drive. Harry was still worried about him, and sad to see him go.

“I’ll call about the pack, later.” The one they left on trail. “Maybe they can mail it to us.”

“You never know,” Harry agreed, although he had a feeling they probably wouldn’t ever get it back.

“Alright, well.” Louis gestured his hands helplessly as Harry clenched his own behind him. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Harry Styles. I couldn’t have asked for a better trail partner. Thanks for helping me out.”

“Of course,” Harry breathed, unable to convey the mess he was feeling inside his heart. The heaviness of it. The heaviness of saying goodbye. “Thanks for…” he didn’t know how to convey it in words. “Thanks for everything,” he finished lamely.

Louis smiled at him, a little sad. He waved him forward with his hands and Harry followed, finding himself in a tight hug.

“I’ll be pissed if you don’t send me those pictures,” Louis whispered in his ear.

He cupped Harry’s cheeks in his hands and pressed their lips together in a kiss. It last half a second, over before it had even started, quicker than a hummingbird’s wings. He pulled back and Harry was just standing there dumbly so he waved and moved to close the door.

“See you later,” Louis called, wiggling his fingers before closing the door all the way.

Later was a more casual replacement of the word someday, which would’ve been more accurate. _See you someday._ They didn’t know if they would meet again. People who met on trail rarely did. That was just the way it worked. He appreciated how Louis didn’t make any promises he couldn’t keep, because it would hurt a lot more to have his hopes up, only for them to be crushed with time and distance.

It would be okay, even if they never saw each other again. Louis had touched his life in a way that changed everything, and that was enough.

Harry watched him drive away.

 

^^^

 

It took Harry a few hours to realize Louis wanted him to send the photos so badly because that way he would get Harry’s phone number.

 

^^^

 

Unknown number: _nine photos attached_

Unknown number: :)

Louis: thanks love xx

_Louis is typing..._

Louis: have you ever wanted to visit LA ?

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Part 2 is coming soon :)
> 
> PS I love hearing which parts/details of the fic are your favorite so leave a comment <3
> 
> [Reblog the fic post!](http://angelichl.tumblr.com/post/181463444899/of-the-earth-by-angelichl-24k-after-breaking-up)
> 
> [Find me on tumblr](http://angelichl.tumblr.com/) :)


End file.
